Monday, 2-Jun-2003
Spurious
thoughts and idle musings from the sports week just past ...
Anybody
seen the NBA offs ??? Was there a
Missing Series Report filed ??? The
Nets, proud owners of the butt-ugliest uniforms on the planet, will have sat
for 10 days while San Antone will have had five days off by the time Game 1
finally tips off this Wednesday night.
Hey, we waited this long for the first-ever Finals matchup of two former
ABA teams, what's another coupla days, right ??? I doubt The Sterminator would approve but wouldn't you love to
see at least a ceremonial jump ball with one of those old red, white and blue
b-balls. And giant Afros too. Gotta have ceremonial giant Afros.
Ain't no
flies on Dallas 8th-grader Sai Gunturi who correctly spelled
"pococurante" to win the 76th annual Scripps Howard spelling bee last
Thursday. In case you were wondering,
pococurante means indifferent or apathetic.
Man, I love the Scripps Howard.
Fantastic tube. I mean, where
else can you see that many adults in agony watching their incredible kids trip
on killer words like "sphygmogram", "foliicolous" and
"aplustre" ??? And where else
can you learn what the word for the back end of an ancient Greek warship was
???
WASHINGTON
(AP) -- Nine US Senators from the home states of the other Big East schools
wrote to the leaders of Miami, Boston College and Syracuse in an effort to stop
them from bolting to the Atlantic Coast Conference. The senators from West Virginia, Virginia, Connecticut, New Jersey
and Pennsylvania said the defection would devastate the Big East, erode the
progress its schools have made in women's sports and "send a troubling
message to student-athletes across America". Unquote.
Now that
you've had a chance to digest that little gem, consider the following facts ...
The three possible jumpers, Miami, BeeCee and The Cuse, are all private
schools. As are Providence, Villanova,
St John's, Seton Hall, Notre Dame and Georgetown. That's nine privates and five publics ... UConn, Pitt, Vah Tech,
Rutgers and West By God Virginia ... if you're keeping score. For the record, I'm against expanding the
ACC but I'll be damned if I can figure out why these Senators busted a
move. Okay, there is that whole sucking
up for votes and money thing but hell, that's nothing an aircraft carrier
landing can't fix.
Get ready
for a trip in Doc Brown's DeLorean as interleague play starts this week with
Boston visiting Pittsburgh in the long-awaited rematch of the 1903 World
Series, the very first AL-NL posedown.
To celebrate along with throwback uniforms, Pirate ushers will wear
straw boaters and suspenders and a guy with a megaphone will announce the game
from atop the dugout. Kinda makes you
long for those old days, doesn't it ???
When beer was a nickel and moms all over Pittsburgh were throwing out
shoeboxes full of Honus Wagner cards.
Ouch.
Oh and
there's one other very interesting interleague matchup next weekend as well ...
Oakland A's at Philadelphia Phillies.
It's been fifty years since the A's left Philly and now they're back for
a three-gamer. The White Elephant
ghosts of Connie Mack, Chief Bender, Eddie Plank, Frank 'Home Run" Baker,
Eddie Collins, Jimmie Foxx, Lefty Grove, Al Simmons and Ferris Fain return to
where it all began. Go ahead, Philly
fans, boo 'em. You've waited this
long. I'm sure you won't disappoint.
Here's
the problem with the NHL ... If I'm a fan of either team, Debbils or Ducks,
then I'm into this Stanley Cup series all the way, baby. Sleepless nights, sweaty palms, nibbled
fingernails, cheers and tears, the works.
But this ultra-conservative "neutral zone trap" crap that
stops everything cold at mid-ice makes me seriously pococurante. Yeah, sure it wins and I understand Jersey
is quite jiggy with their 2-1 series lead but just a little more offense would be
nice. I'll take those old Gretzkian 7-6
gunslinger shootouts any day and twice on Sunday.
Okay,
Larry Brown quit after his Sixers lost to Detroit so the Pistons fired Rick
"100-64" Carlisle so they could hire Brown. Meanwhile, Shinndridge fired Paul Silas in Nawlins which let him
parachute right smack dab in the middle of LeBronmania in Cleveland. Rudy T stepped down in Houston, Doug Collins
followed Be Like outta DC, the Jail Blazers won't let Mo Cheeks talk to Philly,
Lenny Wilkins is cinnamon raisin toast while Jeff Van Gundy and Mike Fratello
might or might not be back on the sidelines soon. Oh, and the Paper Clips and Hawks are still clueless. Can we have some games now please ???
Criminoles
vs Tejas, Woofs vs Canes, Rice vs Houston, Southwest Mizzou vs Poisonous Nuts,
Looziana State vs Baylor, Zona State vs Cal Fullerton, The Tree vs Long Beach
State and Tar Holes vs Gamecocks ... There you have it, college baseball's
Sweet Sixteen best-of-three Super Regionals.
One of these nines will wind up in a sweaty pile on Rosenblatt's
pitcher's mound in Omaha in a coupla weeks.
May the Ping be with you.
Steve
Kerr, Ollie McClellan. Ollie McClellan,
Steve Kerr.
Who knew
that The Gerbil had that much pull in the Bronx Zoo ??? If you missed it, Don Zimmer ripped Phineas
T a new one last week for daring to bash skipper Joe Torre for the Yankees'
recent slide. Think about it ... Nobody
gets away with slamming Big Stein in the Big Apple. Not Billy Martin, not Reggie Jackson, not Yogi Berra, not Dave Winfield,
nobody. Yet a career .235 hitter with a
metal plate in his head whose job description reads "Sit in dugout, smile,
watch game, shake hands" is so secure he can actually tell The Boss where
to get off. Hard to believe, Harry.
Dear PGA
Tour, Thank you for allowing me to play at Colonial last weekend. It was a tremendous experience but I think
I'm ready to return to the LPGA Tour now.
Wish me luck. Sincerely, Annika
Sorenstam ... Dear Ms Sorenstam, Please be advised that if you keep shooting
17-unders on our tour, we will find some more sponsor's exemptions for you on
the PGA Tour. A lot more. Sincerely, the LPGA Tour.
See ya
nexted week ...
Robert E Hunt Jr
Copyright ã 2003 by Robert E Hunt Jr. All rights reserved.