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Monday, 26-May-2003

 

Spurious thoughts and idle musings from the sports week just past ...

 

Ain't no flies on Annika "You Da Woman" Sorenstam who clearly was the top story at the Colonial in Fort Worth.  Forget about missing the cut by four strokes at +5, her two days on Ben Hogan's old course were utterly captivating and one helluva lotta fun to watch.  And that's where the Neanderthals who whined about her missed the boat ... Yeah, that would be you, Vijay "Stay Away" Singh.  Look, it's real simple.  Anything that gets casual fans watching golf, talking golf, thinking golf has gotta be good for the game of golf, don'tcha think ???  And that's exactly what she did.  Plus, I gotta say it ... Golf pants never looked so good.

 

I could be wrong but of all the things a modern day Rip Van Winkle would find hard to believe after yet another 20-year nap, I do believe the statement "The New Jersey Nets have now won 10 straight NBA playoffs games in a row." might just cause him the most disbelief.  Either that or "Larry Brown lasted six years in one job before getting the itch to move along."

 

LeBron, LeBron likes his money.  He makes a lot they say.  Spends his days counting in the garage by the motorway.  And he shall be LeBron ... To the tune of $90,000,000 in Nike dollars for the next seven years.  Say it slowly ... Ninety.  Million.  Dollars.  To wear the swoosh on his feet and anywhere else I suppose Nike "asks" him to wear it.  Hell, for $90 million bucks, I'd have it tattooed on my forehead if that's what it took.  At any rate, good for him.  I guess he'll be paying off that Hummer loan sometime soon.

 

When the Second Vatican Council decided forty years ago to relax the rules on the Latin Mass, they didn't stop using Latin as the official language of record within the Holy See itself.  So you see, from time to time, the Vatican needs to update its official Latin dictionary by adding new words to reflect the modern vernacular.  Well, this year's edition contains several new Latin words and one of them is "pediludium".  Say it slowly ... Ped-i-lud-i-um.  Pedis = foot.  Ludus = sport.  Pediludium = foot sport.  Yep, you got it ... Football.  Porcarius, baby, porcarius.

 

What the hell ever happened to the Indy 500 ???  Man, talk about losing your mojo.  Back in the days of AJ Foyt, Al Unser, Rick Mears and Mario Andretti, Indy was Memorial Day's unquestioned main event.  Even the most casual race fans knew drivers like Tom Sneva, Danny Ongais, Gordon Johncock and Bobby Rahal.  Big difference now though as somebody named Gil de Ferran won this year's Indy and stopped somebody named Helio Castroneves from winning his third straight.  Yeah, I know there's been some nasty infighting among the open wheel boys over the last decade or so but NASCAR has just kicked ass and taken names.  Plain and simple.

 

A title.  Yes, indeed, an honest-to-God title to celebrate.  Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to the 2003 NCAA men's lacrosse champions ... My beloved Virginia Cavaliers who beat top-seeded Johns Hopkins.  Set out the white linen and the good china, Muffy darling, the lads are bringing home rings and a trophy.  Hot damn, a champeenship.  Break out the beluga and the brie, Biff.  It's boogie time in Charlottesville, baby.  Yeah, yeah, I know ... Pretty pathetic but I'll take it.  Beggars can't be choosers.

 

And for the record, I was at Cornell with some of my frat brothers for the 1980 lax final between Virginia and Johns Hopkins which Hopkins won in OT.  So this cancels that debt, thank you very much.  Although we did visit Cooperstown on the way home so that trip wasn't a total loss.  No road trip with a Coop stop is ever a bad trip.

 

And so we're down to Ducks and Debbils for Lord Stanley's big Jell-O mold.  Anaheim versus New Jersey.  Or in other words, Almost Hell Ay versus Almost New Yawk.  Which is a polite way of saying ... Good luck trying to get decent tube ratings with that matchup.

 

I hate to admit it but the NBA offs seem to be hitting the snooze button now that the big bad Lakers are puff daddy.  Not that I needed to see Kobe-Wan and Shaq Fu still alive and kicking but this is what happens when Goliath bites the dust early.  Sure, Tim Duncan's a force and Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili are more fun than a Dennis Rodman wedding reception but that doesn't mean I'm carving out couch space to watch the Spurs take apart Dirkless Dallas.  Yawn.

 

From our "Just When You Think You've Seen It All" department ... This past Friday, during a Class A game with the Lakewood BlueClaws hosting the Kannapolis Intimidators, the umps ejected Bill Butler.  Bill Butler, three-time winner of minor league baseball's Groundskeeper of the Year award.  Yep, you got it, they tossed the groundskeeper.  It was raining heavily and had been for three days and Butler wanted to save his field.  But the umps insisted it was their decision and ignored him.  But when Butler returned with a printout of a radar weather map, they green-thumbed him ... Naturally, five minutes later, they called the game which of course meant that Butler could now do his job.  Hard to believe, Harry.

 

See ya nexted week ...

 

Robert E Hunt Jr

 

Copyright ã 2003 by Robert E Hunt Jr.  All rights reserved.