Monday, 19-May-2003
Spurious
thoughts and idle musings from the sports week just past ...
Here we
go again ... For the fifth time in 7 years, we got ourselves a Triple Crown
threat as Derby winner Funny Cide up and blew away a weak Preakness field on
Saturday to set up yet another possible Belmont clincher. If you follow the ponies, then you know that
Funny Cide is the first gelding to get this close to the Trip. Now I'm no expert on why they snip-snip a
colt ... Temperament, speed, health, strength, whatever ... Clearly Funny Cide
is a much better racer sans stones. But
still, you gotta figure his peeps are thinking about those missing Crown jewels
and the stud fees that'll never be.
And so
the worst-kept secret since Jerry Jones put Bill Parcells on speed dial is out
in the open ... My beloved Atlantic Coast Conference has officially invited the
Canes, the Cuse and the BC Fluties to join the fun and leave the Big East
twisting in the wind. Sorry but I'm
going old school on this one. Yeah, I
know a superconference means a monster stack of new football coin but the ACC
is a hoops league and adding three teams will kill the intimate home-and-home
schedule that ignites many a cold winter night. Believe me, as much as I loathe the Evil Empire, I live for that
pair of games and I'm gonna whine big time if they're gone. So heads up.
Now
having said that, we still had plenty of giggles on hand as the ACC made its
move last week. First was the large
gulp as everyone, Southern sportswriters included, realized this'll mean road
trips to Syracuse, New York, home of the 40-foot snow drift. But for sheer comedy heaven, nothing topped
the loud chest thumps coming from Clemson who openly lusted for a Miami
football rivalry. Yeah, good one,
Tiggs, seeing as how you've mastered the art of the 7-5 record ever since the
Criminoles signed on. If you're in a
division with those two, you might as well just include Tangerine Bowl tickets
along with your regular season packets.
Get ready
for lots of Texas Two-Step headlines as my Dallas Mavs and San Antone meet in
the first Lakerless West finals of the new millennium. Not that these two stud teams are full of
Texans mind you. No, we got Germany,
France, Argentina, Mexico and Canada all represented in this seven-gamer. Must be hell going through customs with all
those passports.
Ain't no
flies on the Peaking Ducks as the Anaheimers swept the Wild and advanced to
Lord Stanley's final round for the first time ever. Naturally, the big story was the ziplock play of goalie
Jean-Sebastien Giguere who allowed just one Minnesota goal in the four-game
quackjob. Of course, hot goaltending is
nothing new. Seems like every year some
team rides a sizzling goalie to sudden fame and fortune. Only problem is you never know who it'll
be. Small wonder Disney wants to sell
the Ducks. I mean, they can script
Emilio Estevez as a hockey coach but who'd ever believe a jebeep with three
French names stopping 99.2% ??? Mon
dieu.
Well,
that's one way to miss the next two months of the Mets season, Mike Piazza.
Two years
ago, near the end of the Carolina Panthers trainwreck 1-15 season, a friend
asked me what I thought was wrong with the sorryass team. Hell, I dunno, I said, but some of it's
gotta be just plain bad luck. I mean,
look at the record books ... It has to be just as hard to lose 15 straight as
it is to win 'em, don'tcha think ???
Well, the Carolina Cobras, our new Arena Football League team, just
finished their first season with a rock bottom 0-16 record. But wait, that's not all ... The average
Cobra score was 55-34 which of course means the Fangless Wonders lost each game
by three touchdowns. Now that ain't bad
luck.
Man, talk
about a hot seat ... No, not Joe Torre if the Yanks continue their little
mini-swoon. No, we're talking Formula
One driver extraordinaire Michael Schumacher who sat in his flaming Ferrari
during yesterday's Austrian Grand Prix calmly waiting for his pit pals to douse
the spilled fuel fire and get him back in the race ... Which he won. You know, I gotta be honest here. With or without cojones, wild horses
couldn't get me in an F1 car let alone keep racing it after I've been, you
know, like on fire and everything. Hard
to believe, Harry.
Beverly
Hills Country Club, how may I help you ???
Good morning, Mr O'Neal, please hold ... Beverly Hills Country Club, how
may I help you ??? Good morning, Mr
Bryant, please hold ... Beverly Hills Country Club, how may I help you ??? Good morning, Mr Fisher, please hold ...
Beverly Hills Country Club, how may I help you ??? Good morning, Mr Horry, please hold ... Beverly Hills Country
Club, how may I help you ??? Good
morning, Mr Fox, please hold.
Rest in
peace, Dave DeBusschere. Alongside the
Joe Willies and the Amazins, your 1970 Knicks might just be the only
universally beloved New York teams of old.
So you got that going for you which is nice.
See ya
nexted week ...
Robert E Hunt Jr
Copyright ã 2003 by Robert E Hunt Jr. All rights reserved.