Monday, 28-Apr-2003
Spurious
thoughts and idle musings from the sports week just past ...
Coming up
next on ESPN, you won't want to miss The Michael Jordan Retirement Show
Retirement Show. Yes, it's six full
hours jam-packed with all your favorite highlights from all three Michael
Jordan Retirement Shows. And you'll see
them all ... 1993, 1999 and 2003 ... in their entirety, commercial-free and
uninterrupted. But that's not all ...
Stay right here for three very special hour-long feature presentations ...
"The Making of The Michael Jordan Retirement Show Retirement Show",
"Behind The Scenes: The Michael Jordan Retirement Show Retirement
Show" and "The Michael Jordan Retirement Show Retirement Show: The
Director's Cut" here on ESPN.
Who let
the Ducks out ??? With a mighty four-game
quackjob over defending Cup champ Detwah and 2 more OT wins over Dallas,
Anaheim is feeling no pain. Also,
feeling happy happy joy joy are the Minnesota Wild. Or is that "is the Minnesota Wild" ??? I can never tell. Regardless, Lord Stanley is now down to just eight including my
Flyers who bagged the Leafs in six to somehow postpone their annual spring tee
times for at least another week. Now if
only they can get past the Ottawa Bankrupts and keep those golf clubs on ice
just a little while longer.
I dunno
what else there is to say about the NFL Draft ... Clearly, it's a mini-event
that's been carefully overblown into a Mega-Event. But it's also a fertile pop-up oasis in the barren desert
wasteland known as the NFL off-season.
So yes, I can hold on for ten hours of the insufferable Chris
Berman. And the hair that is Mel Kiper
Jr. And the hair that is not Merrill
Hoge. And Jaws and Mort and Andrea and
Dennis Green and war rooms and green rooms and Coors Light
videoconferencing. Cause it's the pig,
the whole pig and nothing but the pig.
So help me Vince.
More
Stanley Cuplets ... Man, I don't know where these guys get the energy but they
play so many multi-overtime games that you almost can't believe it when they
finish one in three regulation periods.
And they fly up and down the ice shift after shift too with enough
bone-crunching hits, pinpoint passes and miraculous saves to send Darren Pang
into low-level orbit. But here's what
I'm thinking the whole time I'm watching in stunned amazement ... Is there
anything more meaningless than the NHL regular season ???
And the
answer is ... Yes, the NBA regular season.
Gee, ya think ??? I mean, with
the quality of play in both the NBA Playoffs and the Stanley Cup, you'd have to
pay me to go see a regular season game again.
T-Mac, Kobe-Wan, Dirk Diggler, Allen "Just Shoot Me" Iverson,
KG, Stephon Marbury, Tim Duncan, Paul Pierce, Kazaam ... The list goes on and
on. One stud after another turning the
impossible into Oh My God. Yeah, you're
right, the regular season pays most of the bills but the post-season is all
chills and thrills.
Dear
Braves, Too bad you couldn't afford to keep Kevin Millwood. How's Johnny What's-His-Name doing ??? Love, the Phillies.
Clearly,
the Vikings still haven't quite mastered the 15:00 minute clock but the 2003
NFL Draft Head Scratcher Award goes to the Houston Problems who drafted not one
but two more quarterbacks. After
spending $60,000,000 on David Carr, last year's top shelf pick and fortunate
survivor of 76 painful sack dances, you'd think his brass would get him some
o-line help. Then again, maybe the
Texans just had a coupla extra clipboards lying around in need of caddies. As Master Yoda would say ... Sense not make
this does.
I admit
I'm not sure what to make of the apparent settlement of the WNBA's recent labor
problems ... On the one hand, it's nice that Oprah Nation has a league of their
own, no doubt about it. But with rare
exceptions, the game itself is all but unwatchable and can't even begin to
support itself without the NBA's underwires.
I mean, c'mon, can you imagine trying to bargain with The Sterminator
for a little more coin ??? They might
as well ask Judge Smails for a cheeseburger ... You'll get nothing and like it,
ladies.
Bud Light
got himself some ink last week when he announced he'll step down as baseball
commish when his current contract runs out on New Year's Eve, 31-Dec-2006. Let's see now ... That's three more years,
eight more months and three more days to go ... Which is 44 more months or
1,343 more days or 32,232 more hours or 1,933,920 more minutes or 116,035,200
more seconds. And counting.
From The
Association offs ... Nobody's through yet but the Orlando "Grant
Who?" McGradys are on the verge of sending the Pistons home for a summer
lube, oil and filter. Same goes for the
Holy Green Sweat Socks who have Isiah's Pacers looking like his belly-up
CBA. Elsewhere, my Mavs are up 3-1 on
the insane Fail Blazers while the Sixers and Hornets are still busy holding
home court serve. But until the king is
actually dead, deader, deadest, the Lakers will get the ink. Or at least share it with the T-Pups. C'mon, KG, beat 'em and make The Peacock
cry.
See ya
nexted week ...
Robert E Hunt Jr
Copyright ã 2003 by Robert E Hunt Jr. All rights reserved.