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Monday, 14-Apr-2003

 

Spurious thoughts and idle musings from the sports week just past ...

 

Ain't no flies on the Syracuse Carmelos who whipped up on yet another Big 12 team to win the Big Dance last Monday night.  And of course in so doing they removed the very large primate resting upon long-time coach Jim Boeheim's back.  Not to take anything away from the young and immensely gifted Orangemen but their free throw defense won it for them.  Jeez, the way Kansas was clanking their freebies, you couldn't have blamed Roy Williams for checking his bench to see if he had Ollie from "Hoosiers" to put in.  Twelve-for-30 kills you every time, Coach.

 

Man, in this day and age, you hafta work really hard to lose a publicity battle against Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon.  So let's give it up to Dale Petroskey, the Baseball Hall of Fame's big cheese and a former Reagan staffer, who last week nixed the Hall's upcoming 15-year anniversary celebration of "Bull Durham" cause he's not too keen on Nuke and Annie's liberal anti-war ways.  Petroskey even hinted that the vocal Hollywood couple "ultimately could put our troops in even more danger".  Well, maybe so but only if our troops are wearing bull mascot uniforms and standing over by the bat rack.  The rose goes in the front, Dale.

 

A quote for the ages ... "I could give a shit about North Carolina.  I've got 13 kids in that locker room that I love.".  So said a livid Roy Williams when asked by The Eye's Bonnie Bernstein if he was interested in the vacant Tar Heel job.  On live tube no less which is really disappointing ... I mean, c'mon, Coach, you need to watch your language.  Yeah, okay, your Jayhawks just lost a heartbreaker to The Cuse but that's no excuse for mixing up your relative pronouns.  It's not "that I love".  It's "who I love".  It's a very simple rule ... "That" is used for things and "who" is used for people.  It's as simple as hitting your free throws.

 

Did anyone notice that this year's NCAA Tournament started a week later than usual ???  I could be wrong but I don't think there's ever been a champeenship game as late as April 7th before.  Funny isn't it how the NCAA suits get their neckties in a knot when talk of a college football playoff series comes up and the "kids" might hafta miss some precious class time but nobody utters Peep No. 1 when the b-ballers stretch their season out an extra week.  Nice try but we're on to you, fellas.

 

Never mess with The Mouse ... A painful lesson that a former Anaheim Angels employee learned the hard way last week.  Seems that Phil Alger, a computer programmer for the Disney-owned world champs, tried to auction off his $10,000 Series ring on eBay so he could ... gasp ... buy a house.  But the mousketeers who sign his paychecks had required employees to ink agreements promising not to sell them and so Phil found himself in the unemployment line ... Right alongside the several thousand other employees Disney's laid off recently who didn't have rings for sale.

 

No women, no commercials and on Thursday in the rain, no golf either.  But after cramming three rounds into two long days, The Masters had a fairly normal Sunday finale.  Normal, that is, if you consider a leaderboard with no El Tigre to be normal.  Somehow though Mr Woods was mortal this weekend which left the door open for Mike Weir, a left-handed Canadian, to join the Green Jacket Society.  Good thing there are no French judges in golf, eh ???

 

Just when you think you've seen it all, along comes Richard Bloch.  Who the hell is Richard Bloch, you ask ???  Richard Bloch is the arbitrator who ruled last week that the J-E-T-S failed to match the terms of the five-year, $7.95 million dollar free agent deal Danny Boy's Dead$kins offered to their deluxe kick returner Chad Morton.  And so Morton is now a Skin.  And New York has absolutely no appeal.  None whatsoever.  Not even if Richard Bloch is a Washington Redskins season ticket holder.  Hard to believe, Harry.

 

Here's something to make you feel good ... After 50 years of coaching, Wizards assistant John Bach is finally retiring at age 77.  Retiring with one helluva ride too as Patrick Ewing, himself a Wiz assistant, and Be Like chipped in to buy Bach a brand new Rolls Royce.  No truth to the rumor that Bach left the MCI Center with Carolyn, the passed out prom queen, while looking for a pair of geek friends to take his picture.  John, that's a Roll Royce.  John, that's the prom queen.  John, you're a legend.

 

Let's look at the big names in the new Basketball Hall of Fame class, shall we ???  First up is James "Two For One" Worthy, winner of three Laker rings and 1989's NBA Man Of The Year.  Not to mention the Houston police department's 1991 John Of The Year for soliciting not one but two undercover cops for a little post-game sandwich.  Next up is Robert "Chief" Parrish, the legendary Methusaleh who anchored the Celtics front line while setting records for most NBA games played and most bong hits.  Finally, we have Meadowlark Lemon, arguably the most beloved Harlem Globetrotter of all time.  One outta three ain't bad, I guess.

 

See ya nexted week ...

 

Robert E Hunt Jr

 

Copyright ã 2003 by Robert E Hunt Jr.  All rights reserved.