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Monday, 31-Mar-2003

 

Spurious thoughts and idle musings from the sports week just past ...

 

Okay, so you're the all-time leading rusher in NFL history and you've racked up more sixes than any other running back too.  You've got four rushing titles, three champeenship rings plus league and Supe MVP awards.  You also have your very own MasterCard commercial and Poke fans all over the planet wear your jersey.  But your boss had seen enough, shook your hand and cut you loose.  So you sign with the Arizona Cardinals.  You sign to play for the completely and utterly insane Bidwills.  You sign with the team whose most famous player doesn't even exist although he did win the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor so they got that going for them which is nice.  Been nice knowin' ya, Emm.

 

Didja ever notice that Be Like always refers to his sport as "the game of basketball".  He never says "hoops" or "ball" or even just plain old "basketball".  It's always "the game of basketball" as in ... "I'm leaving the game of basketball." ... "I missed the game of basketball." ... "My teammates can't even play the game of basketball." and so on.  Makes you wonder when he started doing that cause no self-respecting 10-year-old would ever use that term.  "Bye, Mom, I'm going down to the playground to play the game of basketball."  "Okay, Mikey, you be careful.  The meal of dinner is at six.  Have the time of fun now, you hear ???"

 

Best chuckle of the week by far ... At the McDonald's High School All-American game last week in Cleveland, LeBron James' choice of college was listed as "Undecided".  Good one.  And that's cause the only thing undecided about LeBron James' plans for next year are what color suit to wear to the NBA Draft.

 

Well, so much for the expected Wildcat vs Wildcat Final Four posedown as both Kaintuck and Zona coughed up hairballs.  Zona you could kinda see coming once Kansas exorcised its Duke devils on Thursday night.  But the Jellies going down hard to Marquette caught everyone outta the blue.  Just a hunch but I'm guessing Dwayne Wade ... 29 points, 11 boards, 11 assists, four blocks and one entire bluegrass Commonwealth in a foul mood ... knows he now has a rather high-paying job waiting for him.  Enjoy the jambalaya.

 

Meanwhile, Tejas and The Cuse are packing their bags for a weekend in Nawlins and their shot at the ring too.  Not to take anything away from either squad but it must be nice to play an NCAA Regional bracket in front of a giddy packed house just a few hours away from your own campus.  Okay, maybe Carmelo Anthony plays out of his mind no matter where he is and maybe TJ Ford lights it up regardless of area code but you gotta wonder what might've happened if they had played in each other's region.  Enjoy the étoufée.

 

Over in the ladies tournament, the usual suspects are still alive and kicking up their heels ... Tennessee is still playing in Knoxville.  Looziana State is officially frisky but still not distracting Tiger fans from spring football practice while the Dookettes are just as pumped and most definitely still distracting Blue Debbil fans from spring football practice.  And of course UConn is still chewing up and spitting out everyone in sight.  Next time Bud Light is looking for some competitive imbalance to fix, this sport will still be a good choice.

 

Do you wanna interview Jim Harrick now, Dickie V ???  Nah, I didn't think so.

 

To almost no one's surprise, the Baby Blue Faithful are in an uproar over Matt Doherty's shaky future as hoops coach.  That's right, two seasons sans Dance invites and Tar Heel Nation is out in the streets waving pitchforks and torchlights.  His players hate him.  No, they don't.  Their parents hate him too.  No, they don't.  Roy Williams will take over this time.  No, he won't.  Dean Smith will come out of retirement.  No, he won't.  Doherty's had a fair chance.  No, he hasn't.  We're doomed.  No, we're not.  Lather, rinse, repeat.

 

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar says he interviewed for the Columbia University coaching job last week and would love the job if offered.  Has anyone told him about the Ivy League's no scholarship rules ???  And I sure hope he understands that 6-2 white guys named Preston will have a slightly more difficult time lofting sky hooks into the heavens and through the twine.  I hope he gets the job though and wears his old goggles on the sidelines so he can scare the bejeezus outta the Ivy League refs.

 

When English soccer fan David Stephenson named his 5-month-old Japanese Shiba Inu puppy "JJ" after his favorite player, Newcastle United star Jermaine Jenas, little did he know that JJ would wind up costing him quite a few extra pounds over his puppy chow budget.  That's because JJ ate several tickets David left lying on a nightstand including the big one for next month's important match against Manchester United.  Rumor has it David could only yellow card his hungry pooch seeing as how JJ didn't use his hands.

 

Major league baseball season is here.  Zip-a-dee-doo-dah.  Zip-a-dee-aye.  Please make Thunder Stix go away.

 

More on this Tar Hole mess ... The Doherty Affair is a textbook case of everything the Anybody But Carolina tribe deplores about that program.  For years, all you ever heard was ... We're the flagship of the ACC, the class of the league, and we're just dripping with tradition.  Our players are stars on the court and perfect gentlemen off it.  We're a family here.  We're Dean's Family.  Well, where is the great Paterfamilias now that one of his loyal sons is twisting in the wind ???  Because all Snuffy has to do is remind his grumpy subjects that he himself got five ... Count 'em, five ... thoroughly mediocre years to prove he could coach.  Losing makes cowards out of us all.  Even flagships.

 

See ya nexted week ...

 

Robert E Hunt Jr

 

Copyright ã 2003 by Robert E Hunt Jr.  All rights reserved.