Previous Issue    Next Issue

 

Monday, 24-Mar-2003

 

Spurious thoughts and idle musings from the sports week just past ...

 

Reason No. 4,389,125 why I'm kinda sorta glad soccer hasn't quite caught on here yet ... Nineteen years ago, George Reilly scored the only goal in Watford's 1-nil win over Plymouth Argyle in a crucial English FA Cup semi-final match.  Yep, that's right, way back in 1984 when Chuck and Di were still a pair and so was Wham!  Well, one fine day last week as Reilly worked at a construction site, a co-worker sucker punched him, chewed his ear off and then whispered "Plymouth" in his other ear.  1984.  One game.  One goal.  I mean, for comparison, just imagine a Padres fan assaulting Tiger star Kirk Gibson and whispering "San Diego" in his ear.  Unbelievable.

 

Looks like former Injun teammates Omar Vizquel and Jose Mesa are playing the feud.  Mesa, currently employing the Phillies' time-honored bullpen strategy of walking the bases full prior to getting the save, is apparently none too pleased with Omar's recent book taking him to task for, among other things, ruining Cleveland's 1997 World Series and has been threatening to plunk Vizquel next time he faces him.  Note to Omar ... Just paint a catcher's mitt on the side of your batting helmet.  No way he'll hit ever you there, amigo.

 

In the East Region, the top seeded Sooners held serve but the Pitinos went Rickity split against those lovable Butler Bulldogs.  And yes, the rim in Birmingham was the exact same ten feet high as the one in Butler's famous "Hoosiers" gym.  In the bottom half of the bracket, the Cuse played to form but Auburn played like Tigers, War Eagles and Plainsmen all at once in sending both St Joe's and two seed Wake Forest home with soggy crying towels.  On to Albany.

 

Down South, Tejas lanced the Boils and UConn chopped down The Tree.  No doubt the NCAA suits should throw the Huskies a bone for letting BYU have all the time they'll need for church next Sunday.  Meanwhile, defending champ Maryland needed a buzzer beater to knock off UNC ... UNC Wilmington, that is ... but the Twerps then xapped Xavier on Sunday while Michigan State did a Mick Dundee on the Florida Gators who are likewise sleeping with the fishes.  On to San Antone.

 

Out West, Zona barely survived an exhausting double OT grindjob over Gonzaga.  Best game of the whole wild weekend by far.  The Rudys are also still alive after wins over Wisconsin-Milwaukee and Illinois.  Central Michigan upheld MAC Conference honor just long enough to get waxed by the Dookies while Kansas rock chalked Zona State upside the head and out the door.  Afterwards, Roy "Not The Dean" Williams ripped The Eye a new one for taking way too many tube timeouts and disrupting the flow of the game.  He's got a valid point but I'm sure Roy also realizes that ain't campus bake sales paying his salary.  On to Mouseland.

 

And finally in the Midwest Region, the KY Jellies barely broke a sweat in dispatching IUPUI and Utah.  Wisconsin moved on too and will now assume the role of roadkill in front of Tubby's Terrors.  Pitt and Marquette also advanced but unless they come up with some answers real quick, they'll both be heading home with blue sneaker imprints on the backs of their shorts too.  By the way, don't pay too much attention to the pundits who yucked it up over little IUPUI ... Indiana University - Purdue University at Indianapolis ... because they forget that before John Wooden came along, only the faithful knew who the hell UCLA was either.  On to the Twin Cities.

 

Hey, whadda you know, Bob Uecker made it to Cooperstown ... As a broadcaster obviously since the Hall doesn't have much room for career backup catchers who hit just .200 in six seasons.  Alright now, everybody all together on this one.  Ready ???   Ju-u-u-u-s-t a bit outside.

 

More NCAA hooplets ... Ain't no flies on the Big East with an 8-0 record and four frisky teams ... Pitt, UConn, Notre Dame and Syracuse ... still very much in play.  Auburn sure silenced their critics as did Butler, the lowest seed still dancing.  And let's not forget Thuggie Bear's wild temper tantrum that got him thumbed from Cincy's first round loss to the Zags.  The same Bob Huggins last seen in intensive care recovering from a massive coronary last fall.  Nice to see him mellow out some, don'tcha think ???  Decaf, coach.

 

And speaking of just a bit outside, let's hear it for Cleveland star Ricky Davis who mistakenly thought he'd notch his first ever triple double in the Cavs' rout over the Jazz last Sunday night by shooting at the wrong bucket hoping to pick up that magic 10th board.  Followed of course by that magic check he had to write to pay his fine.  Elsewhere in The Association, some fan got the brilliant idea to scribble a swear word on Shaq's evidently unguarded 20,000th point ball.  Hey, great idea, let's get Shaq mad.  That'll work.  And speaking of mad, no truth to the rumor that the next new weapon in our military's arsenal is the "Ron Artest Flagrant Foul".  Guaranteed to detonate every time.

 

I swear I don't go looking for reasons to hammer the Death Star.  Hell, why go looking for them when they just fall in your lap anyway.  So consider this paraphrased gem from Heel coach Matt Doherty ... "We're proud of our NIT bid.  The way we look at is that with so many single bids going to small conferences, we're a lot better than many of the teams in the NCAA.  We beat Vermont back in December and they're in so we feel good about ourselves.  Really, we do."  So there you have it, folks.  The University of North Carolina, three-time national champions and home to the likes of Michael Jordan, Phil Ford, James Worthy, Vince Carter and Billy Cunningham ... are better than Vermont, a 16 seed making its very first trip to the Big Dance in 103 years of trying.  Yeah, that must feel real good.

 

What better way to commemorate your country's surprise 1998 Olympic ice hockey gold medal than ... drum roll, please ... an opera.  Yes, indeed, the Czech National Theater announced last Monday that a brand new opera called "Nagano" will open next April at the historic Estates Theater in Prague ... The same theater where some guy named Mozart premiered a fairly decent piece called "Don Giovanni" back in 1787.  So there you have it ... Jaromir Jagr, Dominik Hasek and Amadeus sharing the same stage.  Hard to believe, Vulfee.  And on that note ...

 

See ya nexted week ...

 

Robert E Hunt Jr

 

Copyright ã 2003 by Robert E Hunt Jr.  All rights reserved.