Monday, 17-Mar-2003
Spurious
thoughts and idle musings from the sports week just past ...
Time for
another first ballot inductee into the Hall of Fame for the Brutally Obvious
... Halftime of Wake Forest's first round ACC Tournament tilt against the
Criminoles last Friday afternoon. FSU
up by a point, 30-29. Ex-Yellow Pest
coach Bobby Cremins with a hot sideline mike and 15 seconds of tube time. And I quote ... "If Wake wants to win
this game, they have to get the basketball to their senior star player,
All-American, first-team All-ACC and likely ACC Player of the Year ... Josh
Howard. He's the key." Oh, you think so, Bob ??? You sure that freshman bench warmer who
hands Howard a fresh towel and a full cuppa Gatorade during timeouts can't
heave up a few treys to get the Deacs back in it ???
Seau it
ain't so, Junior. Yep, it sure looks
like the Bolts and Junior Seau are parting ways after 13 spectacular NFL
seasons. Where did that come from ??? I mean, how can you possibly not like living
and playing in San Diego ??? Was there
even a hint Junior was unhappy ??? Oh
wait, I forgot, Marty Schottenheimer's still the coach. Never mind.
Meanwhile, the Iggs said see ya to defensive line stud Hugh Douglas who
inked a Jagwires deal. Sigh ... Just
ask any Eagles fan how well things worked out the last time they let an All-Pro
defensive end skip town. Yeah, I know
God told Reggie White to go to Green Bay but I'm pretty sure The Almighty had
his eye on that huge contract the Packers had waiting for him. Sorry, Him.
Ready for
a trip through the NCAA brackets ???
Alright, buckle up, here we go ...
Out West,
no surprise seeing Zona in the well-earned catbird seat. But just like last year, this region is a
nasty minefield from top to bottom with Kansas, the Dookies and the Illinois
Fighting Politically Incorrects waiting in ambush. Add Thuggie Bear's Cincy Bearcats along with Gonzaga and the
beefy Rudys to the mix and the West is one big black and blue bruise. You know that not all the No 1 seeds will
make it but it's hard to pick against Arizona.
If anyone's gonna nail them, it could be Dook. Nobody understands post-season play like Krzyzewski. Krzynobody.
Down
South, Tejas is your No 1 seed. Sorry
but I'm not seeing the Horns get outta here alive. I see burnt orange and I think pig ... Earl Campbell, Ricky
Williams and old coach Darrell Royal not TJ Ford, Brandon Mouton and Rick
Barnes. Xavier will be a tough
out. So will Looziana State, UConn and
The Tree. Second seed Florida's another
football school but ever since Eddie Munster took over, the Gators have been
scary good. And finally, don't ignore
the defending national champeen Twerps on 6th street. That's awfully low for a returning ring bearer.
Over in
the East, Oklahoma OK is riding in the surrey with the fringe on top but it
might not be a beautiful morning if the Pitinos get hot or the Possessed
Preachers keep on playing like demons.
Carmelo Anthony has The Cuse feeling good but beware The Ides Of Boeheim
which typically send Orange fans on spring break scratching their heads. Meanwhile, NC State hopes to repeat their
charmed life from 20 years ago but Herbie "The Love Bug" Sendek is no
Jimmy V so it'll be a hugless trip home for the Woofs. Watch St. Joe's on 7th street and Butler on
12th. They could be a pair of silent
snakes waiting in the grass.
And now
we come to the Midwest otherwise known as the Kaintuck Invitational. Yeah, we know all about Big Dance upsets but
the Jellies have been playing insanely great hoops since December. Marquette has Dwayne Wade but they also have
massive amounts of fatal Conference USA kryptonite. Pitt's a nice Big East champ but they're a Two for a reason ...
Cause Tubby's Cats are The One. Of
course, let's not forget this is Kentucky we're talking about here ... Where you're
never quite sure if even winning it all is ever good enough.
Say
whatever you want about Bobby Knight ... And you're right, he had clearly worn
out his welcome at Hoosier U ten times over.
But I'll be damned if I can think of another top shelf college hoops
coach who'd willingly give his bosses back his $250,000 stack of Texas Tech
salary coin cause he didn't feel he'd done enough to earn it. Hell, I can't think of one who'd even think
of that on his own. And Lord knows
there are plenty of qualified candidates ... Right, Pete Gillen ??? And let us not forget Myles Brand, former IU
prez who pink slipped Knight and went on to be the new boss hog at the
scandal-wracked NCAA. Chances are the
Villanova players will still be making free long distance calls before Myles
will ever write a rebate check.
"My"
Dallas Mavericks 129, SacroKings 123.
In overtime. In Sacramento. Steve Nash, baby. Steve Nash.
Speaking
of brackets, I've got this theory about the NCAA Tournament but it has a high
geek factor so be forewarned. Anyway,
here goes ... I believe The Bracket itself is one of the reasons March =
Madness. To a mathematician, the 64
team single elimination formula is a thing of beauty. I mean, it's got this wonderful harmony to it as you watch the binary
powers of 2 decrement by 1 with each round ... 2^6 = 64, 2^5 = 32, 2^4 = Sweet
Sixteen, 2^3 = 8, 2^2 = Final Four, 2^1 = 2 and 2^0 = 1 --- The National
Champ. And notice how each round's
exponent equals the number of wins a team still needs to be champ. It's a lot like music ... One reason good
music sounds so good is because the hidden math underneath the noise turns it
into pleasing sound ... Yoko Ono excepted, of course. Same thing with The Bracket.
It imposes a beautiful structure and order over complete and utter chaos
...
And if
this all sounds just a little too "out there" for you, then tell me
why you'll be in line at the office copier this morning waiting to run off a
few freshly minted blanks. Tell me why
you'll be searching for a new pen or pencil come Thursday afternoon when the
early finals are in and you want to neatly move the first winners along. Tell me why you'll get itchy waiting for the
follow-up games to finish so you can advance those winners too and fill in
those uneven empty slots. Then tell me
why you'll keep food and drinks far away from your masterpiece so it doesn't
get smudged or ... horror of horrors ... so it doesn't get a coffee ring
ruining half the West Region which means you gotta pull out a clean backup and
start all over. Um, wait, have I been
using my out loud voice all this time ???
Dear
Georgia, Too bad about those allegations.
Hope you enjoy spring break ... Love, Alabama.
On a
personal note, you are reading the 200th weekly issue of The Monday Morning
Noter. Started in January 1999, The
Noter has chronicled only the best and most spurious thoughts and idle musings
from the incredibly bizarre world of modern athletic competition. From Tonya Harding to Dennis Rodman to Randy
Moss to Bud Light to Dennis Miller to Mike Tyson, The Noter has seen and
documented them all. And through it
all, week after week, only one thought really truly sums it all up ... Hard to
believe, Harry. Thanks for all your
kind words of encouragement. They are
truly appreciated.
Get well
soon, Tug McGraw. Please don't go yet.
See ya
nexted week ...
Robert E Hunt Jr
Copyright ã 2003 by Robert E Hunt Jr. All rights reserved.