Monday, 10-Mar-2003
Spurious
thoughts and idle musings from the sports week just past ...
Nice try,
Sergei, but I'm not buying it. No way
was Central Red Army Wing star Sergei Federov ever married to Anna
Kournikova. Not no way, not no how. And how do we know for sure ??? Simple.
Look, given a few extra letters in their names and a fondness for vodka,
Russian men are no different than any other men anywhere on the planet. And if you believe that Sergei bagged The
Mother of All Babes and kept The Secret even from his Detroit teammates ...
Well, then there's a fat bank account in Nigeria with your name on it. Hell, he'd have skated a foot off the ice at
practice the morning after. That is, assuming
he even showed up.
Heard a
good one the other day ... Didja hear about Phil Jackson's kidney stone
??? He named it "Kobe" cause
it wouldn't pass.
Okay,
let's deal with this St Bonaventure mess ... Yes, it's easy to see why the
Bonnies punted their season once teammate Jamil Terrell was ruled ineligible
for a bogus juco transfer. Hey, all for
one and one for all. Then again, his
welding certificate is not exactly a two-year associate degree so it's easy to
see why Terrell should sit. But here's
the rub ... I graduated college 23 years ago and I still remember every
glorious and wonderful second of every amazing and incredible day ... And I
never once stepped foot on an intercollegiate field of play. You're right, hindsight is 20/20 but wild
dogs wouldn't have stopped me from playing those last two games. As the great Chef on "South Park"
says, "Chillun, there's a time and a place for everything and it's called
college." They will regret this.
Sigh ...
The NFL is so good at teasing us, aren't they ??? I mean, c'mon, you tell me why the league would pick last week to
announce that the J-E-T-S will meet the Dead$kins in the season opener on
Thursday, 4-Sep-2003, at 9:00 pm Eastern Time brought to you live and in color
on the Alphabet network. Hell, they
know we're already caught up watching the free agency tilt-a-whirl in full
twirl with every day a new headline ... Did Jake Plummer sign ??? Will the Bungles match Buffalo's offer for
Takeo Spikes ??? What about Emmitt ??? Wait, there's a game on ??? Who, when, where ??? September ??? Aw, man ...
UNC
Asheville won the Big South Tournament and gets to go Big Dancing for the very
first time. More importantly, the small
branch campus maintained the incredible and all-important 29-year streak of
having at least one school in the UNC system make the NCAA's.
Pretty
quiet week in The Show ... Phil Nevin's shoulder and his season are cinnamon
raisin toast and with Hell's Bells closer Trevor Hoffman on the shelf until
mid-summer, the Padres are probably pre-cooked as well. Meanwhile, Snake hurler Byung-Hyun Kim is
now a starter which means he'll be safely showered, shaved and dressed long
before the ninth inning rolls around.
David Wells is still backpedaling from his own autobiography, Junior
Mint is still pouting and popping dingers and new Tampa Bay Devil Ray skip Lou
Piniella is already in mid-season f-bomb dropping form. Play f-ball.
Infuriate,
verb ... To render furious, to enrage, to exasperate. Infuriating, adjective ... Extremely annoying or
displeasing. The 2003 Virginia
Cavaliers men's basketball team, who have now swept defending national champeen
Maryland yet got swept by doormats Climpson and Georgia Tech, have been a most
infuriating team.
More NFL
free agency notes ... The Jints finally said see ya to Jason Sehorn who
immediately looked around for another DB to point at for losing his job. David Boston followed Jake The Snake outta
Zona, Brian "The Insufferable" Billick yanked the Nevermores offer to
Jeff Blake because he ... gasp .. dared to talk to other teams, Simeon Rice got
a massive new stack of Buc coin and it sure looks like former Stiller Kordell
Stewart is headed to Chicago where now he'll get to piss off a city of
3,500,000 fans instead of 350,000.
NBA
hooplets ... A coupla morons released pepper spray and created a mini-panic
behind the Celtics bench in Boston Saturday night. For their next trick, they'll tell security at Logan
International they've got bombs in their carry-ons. Meanwhile, the Be Like Be Going Tour continued with a nationally
televised Knicks-Wiz game Sunday afternoon in the Garden. Yeah, like that one had a chance to be the
feature game if MJ wasn't still playing.
And don't look now but Grant Hill is done for the year. Again.
Hill's missed 179 games in three years since signing for $93 million
Magic dollars. Ouch.
And so
Harrick The Father and Harrick The Son are in more hot water for numerous and
sundry NCAA hijinks over the years.
Paying players' phone bills, buying them stereo gear, fixing their
grades, fudging expense reports, ghost writing term papers, sexual harassment
lawsuits, unpaid school bookstore charges, you name it ... And yet the Harricks
insist these are all just minor violations and that The Truth will come
out. Of course, that's the problem. Any more of this kinda "truth" and
we'll need barf bags. Lots of 'em.
See ya
nexted week ...
Robert E Hunt Jr
Copyright ã 2003 by Robert E Hunt Jr. All rights reserved.