Monday, 10-Feb-2003
Spurious
thoughts and idle musings from the sports week just past ...
Sigh ...
I miss the NFL. And judging from the
firestorm erupting over the Peyton Manning vs Mike Vanderjagt spat, I'm not the
only one. Seriously, when a kicker pops
off against his own team's underachieving signal caller thus whipping the media
into hyperfroth, you know it's either a slow news week or the post-Supe
hangover is still in full throb.
Naturally, the fourth estate piled on the "idiot kicker" for
questioning poor poor pitiful Peyton.
The same Peyton last seen steering his Horseshoes to a 41-zip playoff
honk, that is.
Join us
for another stirring episode of "As The LeBron Turns" ... Yep, the
high school wunderkind is back on the court after an Ohio appeals judge
restored his eligibility last Wednesday.
And celebrate he did by dropping 52 points in his first game back ... In
Trenton, New Jersey which, by the way, is 429.75 miles from Akron, Ohio, just
in case you were wondering. This is
high school ???
I think
we all understand that college hoop polls are as useless as "World
Champion Oakland Raiders" t-shirts but it's still kinda nice every so
often to see a fresh face atop the heap.
For example, take the Florida Gators who finally hit No. 1 with a bullet
for the first time ever last week ... And that's after 88 years of trying no
less. And what was their reward, you
ask ??? Well, how about a road game
against red hot Kaintuck in insane Rupp Arena.
Jellies 70, Crocs 55. Thanks for
playing and we have some lovely parting gifts for you.
Look, I
really don't care what LeBron James does for the next several months while he
waits to give The Sterminator a hug on the NBA Draft stage. But here's what really frosts me ...
Watching Dickie Volume in full-throated roar on ESPN was just flat out
irritating. That's Irritating with a
capital I, bay-bee. And later Jay Bilas
also gave LeBron the full tsk-tsk treatment too. Vee actually insisted that the young lad's problems all started
when he got his new Hummer ride. Which
is a total crock ... LeBronmania kicked into full gear when The Deuce showed
one of his games back in December. And
Vitale and Bilas were both there to call that game. Tsk-tsk indeed.
To no
one's surprise, Steve Mariucci took the Lions head coaching job. Must be nice to get the boot outta San Fran
and land a 5-year, $25,000,000 replacement gig. Not that Mooch was gonna spend any time in the unemployment line
seeing as how the Niners still owed him next year's short-circuited stack of
coin. Meanwhile, back at Niner Central,
they're still looking for their next guy.
Maybe Marty Mornhinweg's interested.
Damn,
booted from the Davis Cup again. Click.
I'm
sorry, I tried but I just couldn't do it ... When I saw that Bode Miller's been
kicking some major World Champeenship skiing ass over in Switzerland this past
week, I couldn't help but think of Patrick Swayze's beach blonde surf god
character alongside the immortal Keanu Reeves as "Johnny Utah" in
"Point Break" ... "Bodhi, I am an Eff-Bee-Eye agent." And now I betcha that line will stick with
you all day too. Whoa.
Another
entry from our "That Didn't Take Very Long" Department ... A Duke
student fan streaked the Blue Debbils game against the Evil Empire last
Wednesday night. Yep, butt nekkid
except for sneaks and a scarf ... Exactly like the Brit soccer fan running free
and easy in Nike's recent ad. According
to Durham blue, the Dookie admitted he was copying the Nike spot trying to ...
and I quote ... "get endorsements and become famous." Send lawyers, guns and money. Dad, get me outta this.
And isn't
it ironic ... Don't you think ... That ex-Mets skipper Bobby Valentine signing
up to do ESPN's "Baseball Tonight" for the next three years is just
about as good as it gets. Because
here's my favorite Valentine quote from one of his anti-ESPN tirades last
summer ... "Rob Dibble was the most unprofessional player to ever play the
game. This is the reason people switch
off ESPN. Because you have people with
no knowledge of the game or the English language presenting the game we
love." Unquote. Oh man, I can't wait for that first show.
Switch to
decaf, Mario Lemieux.
You go,
J-Lo. Didja hear about her little Super
Bowl wager ??? Apparently, the future
Mrs Ben Affleck has picked up the gambling jones from her hubby-to-be, a
legendary Vegas high roller. Word is
the MGM Grand said J-Lo dropped a $250,000 bet on the Bucs to win the Supe and
won $650,000 following Tampa Bay's blowout.
No word on how Ben did. On the
game, that is.
Punxsutawney
can have Phil cause here in Charlotte there's no surer sign that winter's on
the wane than the annual Interstate pilgrimage of the bigass NASCAR trucks
headed down Daytona way. And I admit I
enjoy it every year ... Hey, there goes Wonder Boy's DuPont 24 ... I wonder if
they're telling Brooke jokes in there.
Look, there's Mark Martin's No. 6 Viagra rig. Heh heh, now there's a joy ride for you. Whoa, Tony Stewart's Home Depot semi just
cut me off. Man, I had that lane. Alright, that's it ... I'm dropping the
hammer, Harry.
The Red
Sox and the Mets both previewed their new alternate color uniform jerseys for
the upcoming baseball season last week.
The Sox showed off a new bright red jersey along with ... drum roll,
please ... actual red socks. Believe it
or not, the Red Sox haven't worn red socks since before World War II. Hey, maybe new socks will help. God knows they're overdue. Meanwhile, the Mets unveiled new Creamsicle
orange shirts that they'll wear for pre-game batting practice only ... Maybe so
but they'll look awfully good with orange pants and police handcuffs too.
See ya
nexted week ...
Robert E Hunt Jr
Copyright ã 2003 by Robert E Hunt Jr. All rights reserved.