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Monday, 23-Dec-2002

 

Spurious thoughts and idle musings from the sports week just past ...

 

In 1987, when The Association expanded, Charlotte threw a joyous ticker tape parade to celebrate the new Hornets franchise.  Then in 1992, when the NFL expanded, Charlotte exploded in fireworks and screaming newspaper headlines to welcome the new Panthers club.  But last week, when word came down that our replacement NBA team is now a go, there was a collective reaction all right ... The Big Yawn.  Man, talk about damage control.  It's one thing to rebuild a team in place but this is a rebuild from scratch.  And it won't be pretty.

 

Now having said that, the choice of Robert Johnson to own the new Charlotte club is pure inspired brilliance.  Johnson founded the Black Entertainment Television network and when he sold BET to the MTV people for $3,000,000,000 ... That's right, one, two, three billion dollars ... Johnson became the first-ever black billionaire.  I mean, think about it, the wealthiest black man alive now owns a pro basketball team right in the heart of old Look Away Dixieland.  But forget the whole social progress thing.  Best of all is ... drum roll, please ... he's not George Shinn or Ray Wooldridge.  Somebody pinch me.

 

"Yankees Working On Trade For Colon" ... As if Phineas T wasn't already fulla crap.  Sorry, couldn't resist.

 

NFL Week 16 piglets ... I'm guessing the 2002 Saints Be Praised highlight video ain't gonna feature their Swiss cheese defense.  I'm guessing Cleveland fans won't soon forget the fork their Browns stuck in the hated Nevermores' backs.  I'm guessing the Fish are still in shock that Gary Anderson hit a 53-yard figgie.  I'm guessing Iggle kyewbee AJ Feeley is feeling no pain these days.  I'm guessing Patriot Nation is in no mood to hear the f-word ... fluke.  And I'm guessing Da Bears are tired of living outta their suitcases.  One more week and then the real fun starts.

 

I don't know which is more unbelievable ... The fact that Florida State suspended Chris Rix, their starting quarterback, because he overslept and missed a religion final exam.  Or the fact that their other quarterback, Adrian McPherson, had already been thumbed for passing a bad check and is now the star attraction in a possible gambling scandal.  Or maybe it's the fact that their starting quarterback was even taking finals to begin with.  So much to choose from.

 

Pro Bowl rosters are out ... And I promise I won't bore you with my annual complaint that Mike Alstott still isn't a fullback ... Nah, the best part of the selection announcement was reading comments from exasperated agents whose cell phones rang off the hook.  Apparently, lotsa players' wives got impatient waiting to hear if their hubbies had been picked yet.  You can't very well go to Hawaii in February with last year's beach and swimwear fashions, you know.

 

Name me another country where the son of Russian partisan immigrants can sue the son of Japanese "Nisei" parents interned in a World War II concentration camp ... For possession of a five-ounce leather ball hit for a record 73rd home run by a wealthy black man.  And show me where you can find a judge who cites ancient Roman pre-possession law, shipwreck salvage precedent and a 19th century case involving five boys who found an old sock full of gold coins to decide that the Japanese guy who got his hands on the ball only after a mob beat up the Russian dude who never really had it to begin with must sell the sphere and then split about $2 million dollars.  God bless America.

 

More Pro Bowl notes ... I realize the salary cap forces the issue in most cases but it's still kinda fun to scan the rosters and see who got dumped in the last coupla years but still has plenty left in the tank ... Jerry Rice, for example.  Nice genius move there, Bill Walsh.  Same goes for Willie Roaf, Aaron Glenn, Drew Bledsoe, Priest Holmes, Rod Woodson, Ricky "Mrs Ditka" Williams, Gary Walker and La'Roi Glover.  Hula Hula Boys, one and all.  And they're singing ... Ha'ina i'a mai ana ka puana.

 

Speaking of Jerry Rice, no doubt you've heard various pundits over the years call him "The Greatest Football Player of All Time" in no small part because of his ongoing pass receiving records.  Like his 1,450 career catches to name one.  Well, just for kicks, let's project the amazing Marvin Harrison's numbers ... He's got 659 catches in just seven seasons which works out to close to 1,700 catches if he plays the same 18 seasons Rice has played so far.  Like the old cliché says ... Records are made to be broken.  Even St Jerry's.

 

Trent Green's 99-yard scoring pass to Marc Boerigter in Sunday's Chiefs 24-22 win over the Bolts brought back some old Iggle memories cause I was at The Vet on 10-Nov-1985 when Ron Jaworski zipped one to Mike Quick to beat the Falcs in OT.  Man, talk about your emotional mood swings.  One minute you're sitting there in dread waiting for the executioner's axe to fall ... Then in a blink, you're hugging and slapping delirious high fives with 65,000 of your closest friends.  Feel the power.

 

Quoth Bill Parcells ... "I met with Jerry Jones on Wednesday. We spoke for five hours. We discussed pro football, philosophy and the Cowboys. I have spoken to Jerry Jones several times over the years. He did not offer me a job with the Cowboys. Any speculation about the Cowboys head coaching job would be premature at this time."  Good one, Tuna.  Two thumbs up.  You really fooled us this time too.  Thanks for playing and we have some lovely parting gifts for you, Dave Campo.

 

See ya nexted week ...

 

Robert E Hunt Jr

 

Copyright ã 2002 by Robert E Hunt Jr.  All rights reserved.