Monday, 9-Dec-2002
Spurious
thoughts and idle musings from the sports week just past ...
Here's
something you don't see everyday ... Over in India, as we speak, they're having
a cricket tournament. For blind cricket
players. From six different countries
... India, South Africa, Pakistan, England, Australia and Sri Lanka. They use a hard plastic cricket ball that
rattles so they can hear it since each team has to field at least six fully
blind players with the rest partially blind.
No truth to the rumor that Eric Gregg, Don Denkinger and Tim Tschida
were invited over as guest umpires.
So what
shall we get for the newly engaged Mia Hamm and Nomar Garciaparra ??? Well, candlesticks always make a nice gift
but maybe we should check the happy couple's bridal registry first. Yep, just like I thought. Here's something he still needs ... Jewelry:
Boston Red Sox World Series Championship Ring ... Number Requested: 1 ...
Number Still Needed: 1. Purchase Price:
Unknown.
Are you
ready to order, sir ??? Yeah, I'll have
whatever Priest Holmes is having. And
keep it coming.
Okay, I'm
giving you a heads up here. If you
don't wanna listen to me piss and moan, then skip this rant because I'm mad as
hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore.
Okay, deep breath ... The sports teams of my beloved alma mater, Mr
Jefferson's Academical Village, the University of Virginia Cavaliers get boned
... B-O-N-E-D ... boned like this time and time again. Someone please tell me what was the point of
snot-bubbling NC State, Maryland and Clemson on the field only to watch all
three schools get much better bowl invites ???
Hell, what's the point of even belonging to the ACC at all if the league
suits not only look the other way but openly encourage this kind of naked coin
grab ???
Because
that's what it's all about ...Cash rules.
And bowl sluts like the Woofs, Twerps and Tiggers will always have a leg
up because they quote unquote "travel well" which we all know means
happy happy joy joy in the cash register.
Hey, it's true. When Clemson
hits the road, there ain't a trailer park within miles that isn't fully
booked. And yes, I do admit that
perhaps Virginia doesn't travel as well.
Muffy and Chip can't land their Learjets at just any old airport, you
know. And try getting decent goose pate
and Dom Perignon in places like Shreveport.
Still though, I just wish that everyone concerned would just admit the
truth. It's all about the Benjamins.
So after
all that, just where are my Wahoos going bowling ??? And the answer is ... Right here in my very own Charlotte
backyard in something new called the Continental Tire Bowl against the West By
God Virginia Mountainfolk. So I should
be happy, right ??? Guess again ...
That ain't a Gator or a Peach or a Tangerine.
That's a Tire. And if you
believe that Chuck Amato, Ralph Friedgen and Tommy Bowden won't use this to
their advantage in future recruiting battles, then you must believe Manute
Bol's got a future in ice hockey.
Recruiting is everything in college sports. And that's the name of that tune.
Why is
The New York Times pitching such a hissy fit over Augusta National's refusal to
admit women as club members ??? It's a
private club. Let me say that again ...
It's a private club. They can do
whatever they want with it. Do the
Hooties look foolish with their heads up their you-know-whats ??? Of course they do. Not only that, they don't have a clue that they can't possibly
win this image battle. But hassling El
Tigre and gagging their own sportswriters isn't winning the Great Gray Lady any
brownie points either. Hard to believe,
Harry.
I think I
need to see the promo for ESPN's "The Junction Boys" one more
time. Those first 500 times didn't
really explain what the movie's all about, don'tcha think ??? And boy, isn't this just the kind of sports
movie we've all been waiting for ... Cranky old coot makes a buncha Texas
A&M college boys puke until they drop.
Then he bolts for a better job at Alabama. With any luck, fifty years from now, they'll film the sequel
showing Dennis Franchione bolting Bama for a better job at Texas A&M. Payback's a bitch, Tide.
This just
in ... The NCAA has announced that after careful review it has decided to
continue to play out the entire 2002-03 men's college basketball season as
scheduled in its entirety including all regular season games, holiday tilts,
conference games, league tournaments and of course March Madness itself. The NCAA felt it necessary to issue this
decision given that overzealous Tar Heel fans have been insisting that no other
games need be played and that all championship trophies should be sent to
Chapel Hill immediately and without further delay.
NFL Week
14 is in the books ... Problems 24, Steelers 6 ... Big problem. Iggles 27, Seahawks 20 ... No problem. Belichicks 27, Bledsoes 17 ... Same old
problem. Bucs 34, Vicks 10 ... Solved
that problem. Browns 21, Jagwires 20
... Someone else's problem. Niners 31,
Pokes 27 ... Texas-sized problem.
Vermeils 49, Rams 10 ... Not his problem anymore. Jints 27, Dead$kins 21 ... Still a
problem. Raiders 27, Bolts 7 ...
Bye-bye problem. My Panthers 52,
Bungles 31 ... End of problem.
Rest in
peace, Roone Arledge. Thank you for
Monday Night Football, perhaps the single greatest sports broadcasting idea
ever imagined. Tell Howard Cosell we
miss him.
See ya
nexted week ...
Robert E Hunt Jr
Copyright ã 2002 by Robert E Hunt Jr. All rights reserved.