Monday, 18-Nov-2002
If you
thought Be Like was the undisputed heavyweight champ of product endorsements,
think again ... Burger Thing is running a commercial featuring a 7-foot high
point-of-view camera striding through one of their restaurants. And the camera talks down to the other
patrons as well as to the BK counter staff taking the camera's gargantuan
order. And if you've seen the ad, you
know Shaq is in the house cause he's the voiceover behind the camera. Which means, of course, that Kazaam got his
coin but wasn't even in the spot. Just
his voice. Let's see you try that
trick, Mike.
NFL Week
11 piglets ... Uh-oh, the Philadelphia McNabbs are now the Koy Detmers for the
next coupla months as The Vet's Turf From Hell claimed one final victim. Meanwhile, Tommy Maddox is in a Music City
hospital with possible back and neck injuries.
But fear not cause Chris Berman informed us ... and I quote ...
"doctors are looking after him".
Thanks for clearing that up, Boom.
And of course it's always nice to see the Pokes and Dead$kins tripping
over themselves taking turns avoiding the NFC East basement. Don't buy green bananas, Dave Campo.
Hello ...
Yeah, this is Hubie Brown, who's this ???
Jerry West, how the hell are you ???
Say that again ... Me ??? You
want me to coach your team ??? I see,
um, Jerry, are you aware that I haven't coached in 15 years ??? And you're okay with that ??? Okay then, I guess I'm your guy ... Man,
it's gonna be great coaching Shaq and Kobe and my wife just loves LA.. So what happened with Phil Jackson ??? How come he ... Say what ??? You're calling from where ??? Memphis ???
There's an NBA team in Memphis ???
And
here's our newest member of the Dumb And Dumber Hall of Fame ... Jody Remple,
who ran onto the field with 0:07 seconds left in a recent CFL game between the
Winnipeg Blue Bombers and the British Columbia Lions and got a thorough
asswhupping for his troubles ... Said a remorseful Remple ... "I was looking
to tackle him [Lions player Eric Carter], I'm guess. But I'm only 5-foot-8, 175 pounds. What was I thinking ???"
Ah, that wasn't you thinking, Jody.
That was the half dozen Mooseheads you threw down, dude.
Dallas
Mavericks ... 10 wins, zero losses.
*My* Dallas Mavericks in case you've forgotten.
Didja
catch HBO's "Inside The NFL" this past week ??? If not, you missed a comedy highlight for
the ages ... The show had Nevermores coach Brian Billick hot miked last Sunday
and he was talking to a nervous rookie during warmups ... Asked him if he knew
who Wally Pipp was and when the rook shook his head no, The Insufferable One
told him the story about Pipp's legendary headache and how either Joe DiMaggio
or Ted Williams took Pipp's spot in the lineup and never gave it up. It's funny enough hearing a football coach
tell a baseball story but to screw it up and forget Lou Gehrig is just
priceless. Thanks, Brian. Keep up the good work.
How come
Rocky named his dog "Butkus" ???
I mean, c'mon, Rocky Balboa was a South Philly guy. No way he woulda named a pooch after a Bears
linebacker. That dog Adrian gave him
shoulda been named for an Iggle ... Either old "Concrete Charlie"
Bednarik or even Bill Bergey perhaps.
Sigh ... A little authenticity goes a long way, you know.
More Enn
Eff Ell notes ... Michael Vick had a busy week first sending out voicemails to
Falcon ticket holders and then sending cousin Aaron Brooks and his Saints back
to gumboland with empty bowls. The
Bolts won an OT posedown over Tee-Oh's Niners, the Favres held their annual
Minnesota honkjob while the Jagwires, Fish and Bucs made the whole state of
Florida smile. Ten games down, six to
go. Stretch run, here we come.
Kansas
State 49, Nebraska 13 ... Boy, I'll betcha the K-Staters sure enjoyed that
one. And Texas Tech's feeling no pain
either after grilling Tejas. Payback's
a bitch, baby.
Whew,
that was close ... I almost had to do the unthinkable and take sides with the
Evil Empire after the NCAA suspended Jonathan Holmes and Will Johnson a game
each for paying, that's right, for paying $10 bucks apiece to play in an
unsanctioned 3-on-3 hoops tournament sponsored by a campus charity raising
funds for cancer research. Thankfully,
the pinheads backed off and reinstated the pair ... Leaving me free to piss and
moan that, of course, Carolina got off easy.
Not to mention wondering how the Death Star gets an invite to the
upcoming Preseason NIT despite last year's deelishious 8-20 record. Good to have things back to normal.
Oakland
27, New England 20 ... Tuck this.
Anybody
catch the end of the Looziana State vs Kaintuck game last Saturday ??? If you missed it, the Jellies had already
dumped a water bucket on KY coach Guy Morriss even though LSU still had 0:02
seconds left ... Time for one more heave.
And ho it went for 75 yards and the miracle six. Just like they drew it up too ... Okay,
Grant Hill, you throw it long to Christian Laettner. Christian, you catch it, turn and swish and we'll get outta
here. Nah, don't worry, Kentucky won't
guard you. Trust me.
See ya
nexted week ...
Robert E Hunt Jr
Copyright ã 2002 by Robert E Hunt Jr. All rights reserved.