Previous Issue    Next Issue

 

Monday, 11-Nov-2002

 

Spurious thoughts and idle musings from the sports week just past ...

 

Alright, let's see what kinda hand we got here ... We got three 29-year-old former Drexel TKE frat boys.  One of them a computer geek deep inside Autotote, the company that handles lotsa pony bets.  Another one holding a $12 Ultra Pick Six Breeders Cup ticket worth an impossible $3,067,821.60.  We got the alleged bet phoned in from Catskill OTB, one of the few OTB's that don't record voice calls.  And we got e-mails and phone records showing the three geniuses discussing the plan for weeks leading up to the big day.  Send lawyers, guns and money ... Dad, get me out of this.

 

Some baseball hardware was passed out last week ... Eric Hinske and Jason Jennings won the ROY's.  Mike Scioscia and Tony LaRussa won the MOY's.  And Barry "Baked" Zito and Unit won the Cy's.  And nobody except the most diehardcores cared.  Ah, but there was one interesting tidbit from horsehideland ... Bahston's beleaguered but beloved BoSox hired Bill James as Senior Advisor of Baseball Operations.  James is the unquestioned father of modern baseball statistics and a legend among the sabermetrics crowd.  I don't know if this means the Red Sox are gonna win any more games next year but they're sure gonna have some wicked pissah spreadsheets.

 

NFL Week 10 ... Might as well pencil in the Pack for the playoffs but nothing else is even close to certain.  Ramjets and Pats are officially back from the dead while the Jints, Nevermores and Tites are officially frisky once again.  In other games. the Mannings waxed the McNabbs in front of a grumpy Vet mob, the Jagwires chewed up the Dead$kins in Steve Spurrier's not-so-triumphant Jax return and the Stillers and Falcs played one of the most amazing tie games in league history.  Yuck.

 

And then there are my Panthers with yet another come-from-ahead throat grabber.  Do you realize this team has a record of 8-1 at various times inside of 5:00 minutes left to play ???  Read that again if you want.  Five of their 6 straight honks have been crunch time coughs including Sunday's here-you-go with 0:31 seconds left against the Saints.  Three Panthers this year have gone down with this season's chic new injury ... the sports hernia.  Meanwhile, their faithful are going down with their own affliction ... Sports nausea.

 

What's eating Joe Paterno ???  Geez, can he get any crankier ???  First off, he's been dogging the zebras all year long but JoePa sank to new lows last week when he whined long and loud about a scheduling snafu that gave my beloved Cavaliers an extra week off before they played and lost to the Nitts in Happy Valley on Saturday.  To be honest, I never thought I'd live to see the day when Virginia could even compete with teams like Penn State let alone piss 'em off for resting up beforehand.  Strange days.

 

Always nice to see our top shelf MLB stars spreading a little baseball goodwill over in Japan.  Even Barry Bonds made the long trip overseas this time around.  Anybody know how to say "Get that stinking microphone outta my face." in Japanese ???

 

In other college pig news ... The Sooners crashed hard as did the Hokies and Wolfpack who lost again and saw their big bowl dreams go poof.  However, still very much in the Big Picture are the Miami Hurricanes who should return to the top of the BCS pile this week after rocky topping the Vols on Saturday.  And it's a good thing too ... I'm no Cane lover but if this bogus system had somehow boned the undefeated defending national champeens just cause they "only" beat Rutgers by 25 points ... Well, you get the idea.

 

Hmm, Marc Bulger or Kurt Warner.  Choose wisely, Mike Martz.

 

What exactly does "make a play" mean ???  I know the term's been around the NFL forever but it's never made any sense.  "We just need someone to step up and make a play."  "We just didn't make enough plays today."  "We need more playmakers."  "You gotta give them credit, they made the plays today and we didn't."  I mean, well, duh.  What else is there to football other than plays ???  Hell, I could care less what they do in between plays.  That's why we're there ... To see the plays.  So make 'em already.

 

By the way, Penn State took an extra week off before crushing the Cornhuskers back in mid-September.  Fair's fair, Joe.

 

They've had record revenues, record ticket sales and have made the post-season eight straight years but that's not gonna stop Phineas T from cutting back on Damn Yankee expenses ... Nope, he's gonna do whatever he can to avoid the hated new payroll luxury tax.  Like eliminating the dental plan for 150 front-office employees.  Total savings ... $100,000.  Yep, it's all the players fault.

 

Some things are just too hard to believe, Harry ... Like high school phenom LeBron James, the lock of locks as The Association's Numero Uno draft pick next June, who's gonna have some of his Ohio schoolboy games shown on pay-per-view this winter.  That's right, a high school senior on PPV.  Have we lost our minds ???  First off, I can't even fathom trying to make a stinkpile off a kid this way.  But more importantly, is it actually possible to wanna pay to watch high school hoops on the tube and have a life too ???

 

See ya nexted week  ...

 

Robert E Hunt Jr

 

Copyright ã 2002 by Robert E Hunt Jr.  All rights reserved.