Monday, 23-Sep-2002
Spurious
thoughts and idle musings from the sports week just past ...
So long,
Patrick Ewing. Hard to believe he's 40
years old but that's a wrap on his hoops career. A ringless NBA career, as the hardwood hardheads love to point
out. You can't say Patrick didn't have
his chances but Be Like certainly tortured him repeatedly as did Hakeem
Olajuwon when they met in the 1994 Finals.
But my favorite Ewing game was the 1982 NCAA title tilt against the Evil
Empire. Yeah, I know Georgetown threw
it away but freshman Patrick was a shot-blocking machine that night.
Stay
tuned for an all-new episode of "America's Greatest Pepper Spray
Disturbances" followed by "When White Sox Fans Attack First Base
Coaches". All coming up
immediately following the game here on your local FOX station.
NFL Week
3 notelets ... Sitting pretty at 3-0 are the Pats, Saints, Doncs, Fish, Bolts
and ... yes, ma'am ... my scrappy no-talent Carolina Panthers who sent yet
another sellout Viking crowd looking for Twins tickets. Meanwhile, the McNabbs are soaring after a
pair of short week blowout wins over the Dead$kins and Pokes. It ain't often you get to see Danny Boy and
Facelift Jerry squirming inside of six days.
Too bad "Hard Knocks" shut down after Cowboy camp closed. I'd love to watch those coaches meetings
now.
As we
suspected, Bison Dele is shark poop and has been since July when it would seem
his brother sailed solo back into port in Tahiti. But now the ex-fugitive brother is lying in a brain dead coma in
a SoCal hospital so we'll probably never know exactly what happened. Just a very strange story all around.
Now
here's a trade you don't see every day ... Norwegian soccer team Vindbjart
traded striker Kenneth Kristensen to rival club Flekkeroy for his weight in
fresh shrimp. Or in other words ...
Kristensen for the Crustaceans To Be Cooked Later. You know, somebody needs to let the Mets know about this
deal. I mean, if they could dump Mo
Vaughn, that'd be one helluva feast.
Well,
they buried Johnny U last week and the accolades for the Colts legend were
suitably epic. But I'm not sure I agree
completely that No. 19 was a "once-in-a-lifetime" quarterback. Hell, as a longtime Iggles fan, I've seen
plenty of once-in-a-lifetime quarterbacks ... Pete Liske, Rick Arrington, John
Reaves, Mike Boryla, Brad Goebel, Bubby Brister, Bobby Hoying, Don McPherson,
Doug Pederson, Pat Ryan, ... Believe me, once in a lifetime with these guys was
more than enough.
Here's
another appointment to the rank of Captain Obvious ... One of the FOX mikes
calling the Panthers-Vikes game ... I think it was Curt Menefee ... said and I
quote ... "This Viking defense is taught to flow to the guy who's got the
ball and tackle him." Really, you
don't say ??? Thank you, Captain
Obvious.
Ain't no
flies on sprinter Tim Montgomery who set a new world record of 9.78 seconds in
the 100 meter dash last weekend in Paris.
Which coincidentally is about the same amount of time the Lions stay in
the game. Oh, wait, I meant to say the
Tigers. Oh, well.
Speaking
of those lovable Mets, didja catch the latest buzz on their rampant weed use
rumors ??? According to Newsday, as
many as seven Mets have been blazing up during the team's sorry season. And that includes rookie pitcher Mark Corey,
since traded to Colorado, who had a post-toke seizure outside a nearby Shea
hotel in June ... Hey, at least they know where to get the good stuff.
One more
reason to love the Internet ... Not only can you read your local paper's sports
page online but, if your favorite team wins a big game, you can read the
loser's paper too. And I forgot just
how much fun that is when my sorry Panthers went 1-15 last year. But after two sweet dubyas to open the new
season, man, I had a ball surfing the Baltimore Sun and Detroit Free Press
sites. The Germans call it schadenfreude and it means "deriving pleasure
from another's misfortune". I call
it just plain fun. Minneapolis
Star-Tribune, you're next.
Rest in
peace, Bob Hayes. First enemy
ballplayer I was ever truly scared to see with the pig in his hands and a step
on his man. When I heard he'd died last
Thursday, I swear I came this close to thinking out loud ... "Thank God we
don't hafta cover him anymore." If
you see Coach Landry, Bob, please tell him to quit watching film of Quincy
Carter. He's Jerry's problem now.
Hey,
guess who got invited to join Augusta National Golf Club ??? Give up ???
It's our old pal, Lou Holtz, the head football coach of the University
of South Carolina Gamecocks. That's
right, still no skirts allowed but there's always room for one more Cock. Sorry, I tried but I just couldn't resist.
"Like
I was saying, shrimp is the fruit of the sea ... You can barbecue it, boil it,
broil it, bake it, sauté it....There's shrimp kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp
gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir fried, pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp,
coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp
and potatoes, shrimp burger and a shrimp sandwich." ... Benjamin
"Bubba" Bufford-Blue
See ya
nexted week ...
Robert E Hunt Jr
Copyright ã 2002 by Robert E Hunt Jr. All rights reserved.