Monday, 16-Sep-2002
Spurious
thoughts and idle musings from the sports week just past ...
NFL Week
2 is in the books and the 0-2 Ramjets and Stillers are officially getting a
little verklempt. Meanwhile, my
Panthers are thanking the schedule gods for their 2-0 jumpstart, the Falcs are
testing Dan Reeves' shaky ticker while the Bolts, Doncs and Saints Be Praised
are officially frisky. And will someone
please tell Vegas to get a clue cause the Supe champ Flying Elvii are the real
deal. 100% USDA Grade A real
d-e-a-l. Just ask the J-E-T-S.
Ain't no
flies on Peter Desailey, the newly crowned king of Australian sheep
counting. Desailey beat a hundred other
professional sheep counters by correctly counting 277 sheep as they sped by. Nick Wragge finished a close second by mistakenly
counting 278 sheep. Desailey will be
back to defend his title next year but rumor has it Wragge is considering an
offer instead to become Florida's new state Division of Elections supervisor.
Minnesota
Twins, AL Central Division Champions.
Contract this.
So close
yet so far ... Anna "My Favorite Russian" Kournikova almost won her
very first WTA singles title but fell in straight sets to top seed Anna
"Really Great Tennis Name" Smashnova in the finals of this weekend's
Shanghai Open. Fortunately, Miss K
bounced back a few hours later to win her sweet 16th doubles title. Not to mention a couple more million yuan in
product endorsements. Hang in there,
Anna. Someday you'll win one.
Tampa Bay
3B Russ Johnson ... who, to be polite, is somewhat rather enthused about his
newly-reborn relationship with The Man Upstairs ... has rather loudly informed
his employers that he'd rather not play on a team called the Devil Rays and
wants the name exorcised rather quickly.
To which I hope said employers have rather nicely pointed out to Mr
Johnson that should he ever hit a little better than .226 with 1 dinger and 12
ribeyes, they'd be happy to discuss the issue in greater detail. At which time I do hope they let Mr Johnson
know it's a fish.
In
college pig ... JoePa's Nitts popcorned the Huskers, the Rudys are thoroughly
enjoying the Tyrone Willingham Era, Tejas folded, spindled and mutilated Da
Heels and the Cal Bears mauled The Pretenders Formerly Known As Michigan
State. Meanwhile, Diddy's Criminoles
waxed the Turtles who are looking rather suspiciously like a one-year wonder
while Ohio U, Idaho and UTEP are hauling big ass checks to their banks today
following their big ass whippings against the Gators, Ducks and Sooners.
It
doesn't look good but I hope somehow the Bison Dele disappearance story has a
happy ending. I've always had a soft
spot for the free spirits of the sports world and it'd be a real shame if he's
gone. But you gotta admit ... This
whole "missing since July, last seen sailing a catamaran with his
girlfriend near Tahiti, older brother suspected of identity theft and now
possible murder" story is no surprise at all given this gentle giant's
long strange trip through The Association.
You just can't make this stuff up.
It's only
been a coupla weeks since Bud "Bitter Beer Face" Selig wrapped up the
"historic" new labor agreement and already Phineas T is slashing and
burning Pinstripe payroll to prepare for next year's $50,000,000 welfare hit. That's right, instead of 10 elevator
operators for the loge level, he's now down to four and instead of 3 luxury box
hostesses, the Yanks are making ends meet with just one from now on. Total savings after 13 games ... $6,760 ...
Which I'm guessing is close to the going rate for just one Raul Mondesi whiff.
Don't buy
green bananas, Marty Mornhinweg.
Now that
the Wizards have traded for Bryon Russell, I wonder how long before the other
guys get tired of watching Be Like demonstrate in practice his famous
"This Is How I Pushed Him Off And Beat The Jazz In The 1998 NBA
Finals" move. Aw, c'mon, Bryon,
just let me show them one more time.
Please ???
Sigh ...
Rest in peace, Johnny U. Man, this guy
was the Old School's Old School. Forget
about his stats or his famous black high tops.
All you need to know about Johnny Unitas is he was a central figure in
the two single most important games in pro football history ... The Colts epic
1958 black-and-white overtime win over the Jints that launched Steve
Guttenberg's career as a trivia buff and the equally legendary 1969 Supe 3
Technicolor loss to the Joe Willies that legitimized white shoes, panty hose
and Fu Manchus. He will be missed.
And
speaking of black high tops, would it have killed the No Fun League to let
Peyton Manning wear a pair outta respect for the late No. 19 ??? Geez, where's the harm in tossing the
uptight style guide just this one time ???
Hell, if I'm Tags, I make every quarterback in uniform this weekend wear
the classics. And another thing ... I'm
not sure I like the idea of honoring Johnny in Baltimore. I know that's where he played but he was
never a Nevermore. But doing it in Indy
is just as weird cause he never played there either. Sigh, one more reason to hate the Irsays for leaving Crabtown in
the dark.
In case
you were wondering, sheep counters work at livestock auctions in Australia and
the best ones can count as many as 60,000 sheep a day during a busy
auction. And no, I have no idea what
they do to fall asleep at night.
See ewe
nexted week ...
Robert E Hunt Jr
Copyright ã 2002 by Robert E Hunt Jr. All rights reserved.