Monday, 29-Jul-2002
Spurious
thoughts and idle musings from the sports week just past ...
Well, I
guess we shouldn't hold our breath waiting for The Lords Of Baseball to bust a
move over allegations made last week on Bryant Gumbel's HBO show by former
Colombo wiseguy Michael Franzese that the 1979 Yankees were in the bag. Clearly, a former Mafia member with years of
sports gambling expertise couldn't possibly be a credible source. And we'll just conveniently ignore the fact
that the Yanks won the AL East every year between 1976 and 1981 except
1979. Nope, the Yankees denied it and
that's the end of that. No
investigation, no congressional hearings, no blue ribbon panel, no big thick
report, nothing. Not even a hint of
outrage. Outrageous.
Ain't no
flies on CMPack'02, Carnegie Mellon University's robotic soccer team, who won
RoboCup 2002 over in Fukuoka, Japan late last month. The robochamps were unbeaten throughout the tournament before
finally winning the champeenship match on penalty robokicks over rUNSWfit of
the University of New South Wales of Australia after regulation roboplay ended
in a 3-3 tie. No truth to the rumor
that next year's Cup will include the first-ever team from England complete
with authentic state-of-the-art robotic hooligans.
Welcome
to this year's Hall of Fame Induction Ceremonies ... No, not the Wizard's
Yellow Brick Road to Cooperstown. Nope,
we're talking the Hall of Fame of NFL First-Round Quarterback Busts. Ladies and gentlemen ... Heath Shuler, Rick
Mirer, Jim Druckenmiller, Andre Ware, Todd Marinovich, Cade McNown, Dan
McGwire, Art Schlichter, David Klingler, Tommy Maddox and ... drum roll, please
... Ryan "Take The Money And Run" Leaf. Thanks for not playing and we have some lovely parting gifts for
you.
After a
while, all these megacontracts are the same.
So-and-so gets a fresh new stack for however many more years. Been there, done that. But for some reason, last week's news that
San Antone will cough up $42,000,000 to keep sixth man Malik Rose caught my
eye. So here's the skinny ... It's a
seven year deal, the longest allowed under current NBA rules, and the third
longest in Spurs history. For a guy who
averages about 16 minutes a game in which he scores about 6 points and pulls
down close to 4 boards. That works out
to about $73,000 a game, $4,500 a minute, $12,000 a point and $18,000 a
rebound. Hard to believe, Harry.
It's
always a good week when the hated Dead$kins get some bad pub. And so it was last Thursday when five kids
got the bum's rush for selling $112 worth of homemade cookies and bottled water
for two days outside Biddle Field on the campus of Dickinson College in
Carlisle, PA where Camp Spurrier is underway.
Campus security jackboots tossed the kiddies after several vendors
inside the stadium pissed and moaned. Yep, the very same cookie monsters who were hawking their food and
drinks at twice the price. Hail to the
Redskins, Hail gougery, Thugs on the warpath, Scalp for old Dee Cee.
The
entire Gaelic football squad for Roscommon, a rural farming county in Ireland,
was recently booted as punishment for ... take a deep breath ... a drunken
post-game party during which most of the team played billiards butt
nekkid. Apparently, Gaelic football is
some sort of combination of soccer and rugby with some basketball-ish dribbling
as well. Hmm, let's see ... We're big
burly Irishmen and we've just finished kicking, tossing and bouncing a pig
bladder while slamming into each other.
What shall we do now ??? I know,
let's get hammered, take all our clothes off and shoot some pool. Sounds like a winner. Lead on, Paddy.
And
speaking of Enn Eff Ell training camps, they're back and not a moment too
soon. Everybody's oh-and-oh and thinks
they're gonna go 16-and-oh ... Everybody thinks they'll get through camp with
no injuries, holdouts or arrests ... And everybody thinks they hired the right
new coach, signed the right new free agents and drafted the right new college
players. And everybody is completely
and utterly out of their minds. Feel
the power.
Who says
golfers ain't tough enough ??? Exhibit
A, your honor, one John "Hot Fudge" Daly who was absolutely
positively determined to play in the Dutch Open in Hilversum, Holland this past
weekend. Seems that Daly's right hand
started bleeding from an old glass wound during the British Open the week
before. But even after emergency
surgery to remove the shard, Daly's hand was still bleeding several days
later. So he Superglued the wound shut. Grip it and rip it, John.
Another
Tour de France is over and finis ... Another victoire, numero quatre, for
Monsieur Lance d'Armstrong. And so
Bicycle Nation will now pedal through the rest of the year out of the primetime
spotlight. No more yellow jerseys, no
more champagne, no more French babes kissing his cheeks, no more odd-looking
bike helmets and weird black back wheels, no more saddle sores, no more insane
mountain climbs and no more completely whipped and demoralized runners-up. See you next year, Lance.
I fully
realize that Ozzie Smith was The Official Hall of Fame Highlight but we
Phillies Phans were overjoyed seeing Harry Kalas inducted as a
broadcaster. Yes, I know he does Rudy
football and NFL Films but Harry Kalas is The Voice of the Phils. Over 5,000 games and counting. And if you've ever wondered what "Hard
to believe, Harry" means, that's what the late Richie Ashburn often said
to his booth partner every time the Phils screwed up. And yes, there've been more than enough plays on the field that
were hard to believe, Harry, but Cooperstown isn't one of them.
See ya
nexted week ...
Robert E Hunt Jr
Copyright ã 2002 by Robert E Hunt Jr. All rights reserved.