Previous Issue    Next Issue

 

Monday, 17-Jun-2002

 

Spurious thoughts and idle musings from the sports week just past ...

 

Note to the Lakers ... Next time you win The Title, could you please like jump up and down a little ???  I dunno, do something.  Put on goofy hats and squirt each other with silly string or something.  Sigh, this is exactly why you ain't feeling the leaguewide love.  The champeenship of the National Basketball Association is supposed to be a big deal.  And it's not supposed to get old ... Not even after three in a row.  Hell, even the Harlem Globetrotters enjoy their wins over the Washington Generals more than you guys.  Pathetic.

 

Oh, and thanks for playing, Nets.  Your pumpkin is waiting outside to give you a lift back home.

 

Ain't no flies on Marcus Thames who could not have asked for a better debut in The Show.  There he was last Monday night, starting in right field for the Yankees standing on the same holy ground where Ruth, Roger and Reggie all played.  And in the bottom of the third, young Mr Thames stepped into a major league batter's box for the very first time ... Against Randy Johnson, the most intimidating pitcher alive no less ... Whereupon he tatered the very first pitch The Big Praying Mantis threw him.  I mean, seriously, how do you top that ???  Me, I'd touch 'em all and then just keep right on running ... Into the dugout, through the clubhouse and then right out to my car in time to get home for SportsCenter.

 

In a stirring duel down the Sunday back nine at Bethpage, lefty Phil Mickelson outshot Sergio "Mr Hingis" Garcia and Jeff Maggert to take the coveted 2nd place at the US Open.  Mickelson was ice down the stretch as he put together an impressive string of clutch pars and solid bogies barely holding off the young Spaniard and crafty vet Maggert to seal his runner-up finish.  Afterwards, Mickelson vowed we'd see even better play at next month's British Open ... "No more two shot second places for me.  Next time I'll crush those other guys.  I own second place, baby."

 

The College World Series Of Ping is underway.  Already, Nebraska is back home making Jiffy Pop popcorn while Climpson is sittin' purty with 2 dubyas awaiting the survivor of Cocks versus Yellow Pests.  Also, Tejas and The Tree are each at 1-0 with Rice-a-Rudy playing to see who gets to live another day.  Get ready for more fun and pings.  One sweaty pileup at the winner's pitcher's mound coming right up.

 

Interleague play switched back to NL parks and those quote unquote "natural" rivalries like Giants-A's, Dodgers-Angels and Spos-Jays.  Oh and there was one other ... I do believe Phineas T's Bronx Bombers took the Major Deegan down to Queens to see what New York's Other Team was up to.  Only to find them practically salivating waiting for Roger Clemens to grab a bat and dig in.  Meanwhile, Marlins 2B Luis Castillio has hit in 31 straight games which means that all he needs now is one more month of hot hitting plus an oven of media pressure before he can even sniff Joe DiMaggio's epic 56.  In other words, forget it.

 

And speaking of pumpkins, the Carolina Hurricanes at last succumbed to the Central Red Army Wings who captured the Stanley Cup last Thursday night with a 4-1 series win.  The Canes were downgraded to a tropical depression after their triple OT loss back in Game 3 and never really got their mojo back.  Truth is Carolina was overmatched from the start ... Way too many top shelf names wearing Detwah red and white.  And with Scotty Bowman in charge, it's all but a done deal.  But hey, at least the Wings celebrated after winning the big garbage can, right ??? 

 

Even if soccer isn't your thing, there's still lots to like about the World Cup ... For me, I like whenever teams like Spain and Ireland play.  Because you don't really even hafta watch the tube.  Just listen to all the names as the game is being played ... Baraja, Morientes, Mendieta, Hernandez, Gonzalez and so on.  And then you have Kelly, Finnan, Dunne, O'Brien, Kilbane, Connolly, Keane and Quinn.  See, no problem ???

 

Thumbs up to the stuffy USGA for playing this year's US Open at the tough Bethpage Black course out on Lunguyland.  "The People's Open" they called it seeing as how Bethpage was the first truly public municipal course to host the big show.  And once again, you can lay this novelty at El Tigre's feet.  He's just too damn good to keep bottled up behind country club bars anymore.  And the Black course was perfect too.  Public or private, nothing says "US Open" quite like the world's best golfers whining about their scores.  Golf clap.

 

More World Cuplets ... Au revoir, France.  Adios, Argentina.  Adeus, Portugal.  And so now we're in the knockout rounds where it's one and done and see ya in 2006.  Jolly Old England is already into the quarters after making Danish ham outta Denmark.  So are Spain and Germany.  As is upstart Senegal whose Golden Goal stunjob made Swedish meatballs outta the Group Of Death winner.  And let us not forget Los Bandidos Yanquis who sent May-hee-ko home with a 2-0 plate of refried beans.  Sorry, amigos.

 

Okay, I need some help here ... How come a soccer clock starts at 0:00 and goes up to 90:00 instead of the other way around ???  And how come they don't reset the clock to all zeroes to start the second half ???  And why do they announce whatever minute a player scores in instead of just saying the exact time ???  I mean, why not just say Joe Jones scored at 16:42 instead of in the 17th minute ???  And in hockey, how come they announce the goals and penalties in reverse time ???  Like if the clock says there's 6:35 left, then why do they say the goal was at the 13:25 mark ???  Sense to me not make this does.

 

See ya nexted week ...

 

Robert E Hunt Jr

 

Copyright ã 2002 by Robert E Hunt Jr.  All rights reserved.