Monday, 3-Jun-2002
Spurious
thoughts and idle musings from the sports week just past ...
The NBA
Finals are all set ... Hell Ay dispatched the SacroKings in 7 tough games and
now go for Chief Big Triangle's third threepeat against the NJ Turnpike Exit
16W Wife Beaters who said see ya to the Holy Green Sweat Socks last week. No doubt the Peacock is breathing a purple
and yellow sigh of relief given the thought of a possible Sacramento vs New
Jersey finals matchup. Only thing left
for the Lakers to worry about now are the room service cheeseburgers at the
Newark Hilton. Order carefully, Kobe
Wan.
Senegal
1, France 0 ... Yep, the World Cup is underway and the first game was an upset
for the ages as Papa "Oom Mow Mow" Bouba Diop made French toast with
the game's only goal. In other matches,
Germany crushed Saudi Arabia, Argentina nipped Nigeria and the Irish tied the
Camerooners. Meanwhile, the American
team toured the DMZ separating North and South Korea while English fans back
home in Jolly Old wrestled with a triple whammy of choices ... Either go to
church, celebrate Queen "We Will Rock You" Elizabeth's golden jubilee
or watch the boys play Sweden. Tough
choice, eh, governor ???
Note to
Celtic Nation ... Just a thought but next time you pull off The Greatest Fourth
Quarter Comeback In The History Of The Entire Universe And Beyond, you might
wanna try winning the rest of the playoff series. It kinda helps support the legend, you know. And you can hand in your Classy Fans merit
badge too. You can yell anything you
want at Jason Kidd but Joumana and TJ Kidd were off-limits and you shoulda
known better. Hard to believe you share
the same lineage as those old school "Beat LA" Garden crowds.
And the
finalists for Lord Stanley's Jell-O mold are all set as well ... The Central
Red Army Wings sent the defending champ Lanche home following the great Patrick
Roy's embarrassing Game 6 dropped puck gaffe and his fatal Game 7 impersonation
of a colander. And lo and behold,
Detwah will be meeting the Carolina Hurricanes who destroyed Canada's Cup hopes
with six-gamers over both Montreal and Toronto. On paper, the Wings should have no problems. On ice, we shall see.
Ain't no
flies on Pratyush Buddiga, champeen of the 75th Scripps Howard National
Spelling Bee held in Washington last week.
The Colorado Springs 13-year-old correctly spelled tergiversation,
deuterogamy, grobian, thremmatology, amole, oubliette, troching, repoussage,
paraclete and prospicience to capture top honors at the prestigious
competition. No word yet though on
whether the Mountain Ridge Middle School football team will resume Buddiga's
daily beatings out behind the dumpster during recess once the champ returns to
school.
If it's
June, it must be NFL Deja Vu Day all over again ... Overstuffed teams with
salary cap problems typically use this month to give their flotsam and jetsam
the old heave ho. Something to do with
some fancy bookkeeping rule that spreads cap hits out over the next two
seasons. At any rate, Jamal Anderson,
Keenan McCardell, Derrick Alexander, Antonio Freeman, Herman Moore, Hardy
Nickerson, Mike Jones, Keith Mitchell, Marco Coleman, Charlie Batch and John
Fina ... Thanks for playing and we have some lovely parting gifts for you.
The state
of baseball as we know it today ... 1996 NL MVP Ken Caminiti told SI that 50%
of The Show is on the juice but then insisted he was misquoted. In print.
Meanwhile, Mets C Mike Piazza may or may not "putt from the rough"
although no one seems to know why anyone should care anymore. Bud Light now seems to think the Debbil Rays
might make a better death row prisoner than the lawsuit happy Twinks. And the labor talks are deader than Anakin
Skywalker's chances of scoring tickets to future Jedi Council alumni reunions. Otherwise, everything's just ducky.
Just in
case you decide to cough up $54.95 for next Saturday night's Lennox
"China" Lewis vs Rusty Mike Tyson fight in Elvisland, here's what you
can expect from the complicated deal worked out between blood rivals HBO and
Showtime ...
Michael
Buffer, the "Let's Get Ready To Rumble" guy, works for HBO so he'll
introduce Lennox Lewis and he'll pronounce Lewis the winner if he knocks out
Tyson. Showtime's mike, Jimmy Lennon
Jr, will introduce Tyson and call him champ if he clocks Lewis. If the fighters go the distance, then Buffer
and Lennon will alternate reading the three judges scorecards in order to keep
the suspense going. And if Lewis wins,
HBO will pay Showtime a stack of coin and they'll get to show their tape of the
fight 400 gazillion times until everyone's sick of it. But if Tyson wins, Showtime will pay off HBO
and then wear out their tape instead.
Got all that ???
Rest in
peace, Sam Snead. Say hi to Ben Hogan
and Gene Sarazen for us.
See ya
nexted week ...
Robert E Hunt Jr
Copyright ã 2002 by Robert E Hunt Jr. All rights reserved.