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Monday, 6-May-2002

 

Spurious thoughts and idle musings from the sports week just past ...

 

How's this for a little kid's dream box score line ... Mike Cameron CF 4 AB, 4 H, 4 R, 4 RBI, 4 HR.  Yep, after just five innings last Thursday night against the White Sox, the Mariners outfielder had hit four consecutive solo jacks, three of 'em bombs to dead center.  First AL stick with four taters since Rocky Colavito some 43 years ago.  But wait, there's more ... Cameron's first two homers both came in the first inning when the M's batted around and scored 10 runs.  And that had only been done twice before.  Von Hayes did it back in 1985 for my Phillies and Bret Boone did it, um, last Thursday night against the White Sox ...

 

Yes, that's right, not only did Boone and Cameron both hit a pair of big flys in that same first inning last week but they nailed them back-to-back back-to-back.  And that had never been done before.  In fact, no two teammates had ever hit two homers in any inning of any game.  Hell, no two players in 133 years of MLB history had ever hit two such same-inning blasts on the same day let alone in the same inning of the same game hitting for the same team one right after the other.  And knowing baseball, you know that someday this amazing feat will happen again ... Could be in the year 2135 or could be middle of next week.

 

Oh and one more thing ... Jon Rauch and Jim Parque, the two Chicago pitchers who served up the historic dinger deluge, were both sent down to the AAA minor leagues afterwards.  Thanks for playing and we have some lovely parting gifts for you.

 

Hootie "Not The Blowfish" Johnson, top jacket at Augusta National Golf Club, had to take a mulligan last week after the club bogeyed its attempt to redefine the word "lifetime".  See, it used to be that past champeens could keep playing The Masters forever.  But some of the older champs were just playing a few holes before packing it in so Hootie announced a new age limit of 65 plus a minimum of 15 active tournaments.  But then someone realized that Jack Nicklaus, you know, six-time Masters champ and greatest Before Tiger golfer of all time, yeah that Jack Nicklaus, rarely plays 15 a year anymore and so now it's just 10 tourneys a year.  Good save, Hootie.

 

Sigh, I used to follow the ponies with a passion.  Starting in 1969 with Majestic Prince, I could recall from memory the next dozen or so Kaintuck winners ... Dust Commander, Canonero II, Riva Ridge, the immortal Secretariat, Cannonade, Foolish Pleasure, Bold Forbes, Seattle Slew, Affirmed, Spectacular Bid, Genuine Risk and so on ... Then toss in a few more greats from the years since such as Swale, Alysheba and Sunday Silence.  But now I can barely remember last year's race let alone who won it ... So I'm sorry, War Emblem, but unless you sweep the Trip come the next five weeks, your two minutes are already up.

 

Here's a hint of some future irony ... Until recently, new Cooperstown inductees more or less got to choose the team cap they'd have engraved on their plaques.  But now two years after Dave Winfield all but auctioned off his bronzed head to the many teams he played for, the Hall now chooses instead.  And according to Peter Gammons, The Coop insists that Roger Clemens and Wade Boggs, two of Bahston's most reviled turncoats of all time, will both be sporting BoSox beanies if and when they make it.  Ah, what a pissah.

 

The Association's relocation committee unanimously approved Dem Bugs move to Gumbo Gulch last week so all that's left now really is just the upcoming rubber stamp vote of all the owners and Shinndridge can finally start loading their moving vans.  Of course, there is just one other minor detail ...The Charlotte Hornets are you know like still alive in the playoffs and all.  Then again, they're all but homeless what with playing in front of fewer supporters than there are members in the Jar Jar Binks Fan Club.  So to quote the incomparable Jake Taylor in "Major League" ... "I guess there's only one thing left to do then.  Win. The. Whole. Effing. Thing."

 

Seriously, I know all the Eastern Conference teams are just June Shaqbait but man, I would dearly love to see Dem Bugs make one last deadly run at this ring thing.  If they got to the Finals, the Sterminator would be squirminating in his seat, the Peacock would be propping up cardboard cutouts in the Hive's empty seats while Lemonhead and Clay Ray would be openly rooting for the players to tank it and end their misery.  And if they did win it all, then they could have their farewell victory parade on I-85 heading south.  One way.

 

More NBA offlets ... The Celts finished off the Iversons in a Game 5 blowout.  Anybody know if Rick Pitino heard the final score ???  Meanwhile, Detwah dusted off the Raps, the Nets needed double OT to outlast the Pacers and Lez Hornez erased TMickey and his Mouseketeer pals in four.  Out west in the heavyweight division, the Duncans, Lakers, Cubans and SacroKings all moved on.  Now we're into best-of-seven territory.  Blessed are the meek for theirs is the rest of the summer off.

 

And how about the pucks ???  Canada's still alive in the East with the Sens, Maples and Habs all still skating along with the Hurricanes.  Yep, just like that great Sesame Street song ... "One of these things is not like the other" ... We got three teams from the Great White North, the birthplace of hockey, eh, and one from Tobacco Road, yee haw.  And out West, the Red Wings, Lanche, Sharks and Blues are still in school.  Get ready for late nights cause now's typically when those triple OT death marches kick in.

 

By the way, it was Monarchos but I had to look it up.

 

See ya nexted week ...

 

Robert E Hunt Jr

 

Copyright ã 2002 by Robert E Hunt Jr.  All rights reserved.