Monday, 22-Apr-2002
Spurious
thoughts and idle musings from the sports week just past ...
NBA offs
are underway ... Nice to see the Sixers and Celts at it again although
Pierce-Iverson doesn't have quite the same sizzle as classic Bird-Erving. Dem Bugs stole one from the gimpy O-Town
Magic, the Pacers smacked the very shaky young Nets while the Spurs, Kings and
Mavs all held serve. But until somebody
figures out a way to deal with His Shaqness and Kobe-Wan, it's Hell Ay's world
and welcome to it. I mean, seriously,
can you see the Lakers losing four outta seven games any time soon ??? Didn't think so.
A quick
glance at this morning's MLB standings shows both the Twinks and Spos in first
place. Yep, the same two teams Bud
Light tried to terminate with extreme prejudice this past nuclear winter. And if you keep right on looking, you'll
find Bud's Brewers ... who poured a flat one for skipper Davey Lopes on
Thursday ... buried deep in the NL Central beer cellar alongside the typically
wretched Wrigleys. Care for a little ketchup
with your crow, Mr Commish ???
And over
in the AL West, those amazing M's are running wild all over again. Hell, you'd think once Edgar "The
Ancient Mariner" Martinez shredded his hammy, their team dreams might've
hopped on board an Amtrak Auto Train.
Yet they plugged in Ruben "He's Still Alive?" Sierra and then
ripped off 10 straight road wins. But
here's the real kicker ... If you go back to 2000 when Junior Mint traded
himself to Cincy, the M's have won 222 games and lost just 121. Yep, that's right, Seattle could lose their
next 100 games in a row and still be a game over .500 since The Kid left. Hard to believe, Harry.
NHL offs
are underway ... Nice to see the Habs and Broons at it again although
Perreault-Samsonov doesn't have quite the same sizzle as classic
Beliveau-Orr. Dem Canucks stole two
from the grumpy Central Red Army Wings, the Leafs smacked the very shaky young
Isles while the Blues and Canes all held serve. But until somebody figures out a way to deal with His Sakicness
and Obi-Roy, it's Colorado's world and welcome to it. I mean, seriously, can you see the Lanche losing four outta seven
games any time soon ??? Didn't think
so.
And so
another NFL Draft weekend has come and gone ... And same as it ever was, all
the experts' mock drafts went wide right.
I mean, as long as the Bungles still have picks left, why even bother
guessing ??? Next up, of course, is
this morning's fresh new batch of team grades analyzing who won and who lost
the cattle drive. Which is just as
futile since none of these guys have even sniffed an NFL locker room yet. So as you ponder your team's picks, just
remember that the Kipeman himself swore on a case of hair gel that Jim
Druckenmiller was gonna be the next Joe Montana and Steve Young. Case closed.
Tawny,
Brooke. Brooke, Tawny.
Okay,
Terrell, whadda say you and me start over from scratch ... I won't bug you
about your hotdogging on the field or ripping your teammates or questioning my
coaching decisions. All I ask is that
you give the 49ers your best effort, 110%, okay ??? No distractions, no controversies and no screaming
headlines. Sound good, Terrell ??? Sure, Coach Mooch, you can count on
Terrell. All Terrell wants to do is
play football ... And play summer hoops for the Adirondack Wildcats of the
USBL. Sound good, Mooch ???
Ah, what
better place for the PGA Tour to decompress a week after The Masters than the
traditional Long Distance Phone Company That Won't Stop Calling Me During
Dinnertime Classic on lovely little Hilton Head Island, home of pelicans,
Perrier and Porsches. Hardly even
matters who wins the tournament since everybody's just completely wiped out
from Hell Week. Including El Tigre who
skipped the sun and sand altogether.
Nice of him to leave a winner's check for somebody else, don'tcha think
???
More NFL
Draft thoughts ... There oughta be a rule that no top shelf wannabes should be
in New York waiting for podium posedowns with Tags. None. Zip. Zilch. All
potential picks should be at home with full live camera coverage sitting next
to their anxious moms, sibs, aunts and uncles, second cousins once removed,
boyhood pals, preachers, agents and high school coaches. Cause my favorite part of the draft is
always the happy happy joy joy that erupts in each house whenever Golden Boy
gets the magic cell phone call.
And
they'd hafta lose 80 in a row to sink back to .500 since Pay Rod decided he'd
rather broil in the Tejas sun for $252 million.
Rest in
peace, Whizzer.
See ya
nexted week ...
Robert E Hunt Jr
Copyright ã 2002 by Robert E Hunt Jr. All rights reserved.