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Monday, 25-Mar-2002

 

Spurious thoughts and idle musings from the sports week just past ...

 

Reason No. 3,590,238 why this ain't your father's NFL any more ... Indy Colts superb dreadback Edgerrin James issued this little gem in regards to his fondness for rehabbing his torn ackle down SoFlo way ... "I've tried to be up there but I'd rather be down here.  I don't like the cold weather.  With my lifestyle, this is where everything is for me.  I'm young and I like to stay up and have fun.  Clubs in Indy close at 2 o'clock and I'm supposed to go home at 2 o'clock?  I don't think so."  Unquote.  By the way, since drafting him ahead of Mrs Ditka in the 1999 draft, the Horsies have paid The Edge over $25 million dollars in salary and bonuses which is Reason No. 3,590,239.

 

Not to be outdone in the quote department, we have Pirates RF Derek Bell who dropped this daisy cutter on his bosses last week ... "Nobody told me I was in competition.  If there is competition, somebody better let me know.  I ain't never hit in spring training and I never will.  If it ain't settled with me out there [in right field], then they can trade me.  I ain't going out there to hurt myself in spring training battling for a job.  If it is [a competition], then I'm going into 'Operation Shutdown'.  Tell them exactly what I said.  I haven't competed for a job since 1991."  In case you're wondering, Derek Bell hit a Mendozian .173 last year for the last-place Buccos.  Thanks for playing and we have some lovely parting gifts for you.

 

Bobby Who ???  Boy, never in IU's wildest dreams did they figure they'd be this far along just one year after Hey Knight got the thumb.  But Mike Davis cleaned the Dookies' clocks and then treyed Kent State to death to earn the Hoosiers' first Final Four trip in ten years, an eternity for that program.  Next up is a Hotlanta date next Saturday with the Bruiser Sooners who simply punished the tough West bracket.  Whew, those guys look like they wandered into the gym from an OU spring football scrimmage, don't they ???

 

You know, you can always tell when the Duke Blew Debbils let a big one get away ... All you gotta do is surf over to ESPNEWS and catch Papa K's teary postgame press gig and if you see him babbling about his "kids", then you know for sure he just honked.  These kids ... My kids ... Our kids ... Great buncha kids ... Gonna miss these kids ... See ya next year, Mike.  Good luck with the new kids.

 

As the NHL's trading deadline neared last week, did every team swap every player on their roster for someone else or was that just my imagination ???  Sigh, you gotta figure the wife and kids must absolutely loathe that day.  There they are on Tuesday in SoCal, Dallas or Miami sitting by the pool and next day they're in Calgary, Buffalo or Detroit scraping ice off their windshields with an old credit card.  And Daddy's on a four-game road trip of course.  Life is tough.

 

And on the other side of the NCAA bracket, Maryland and Kansas both rolled and now they're all set for a No. 1 seed posedown next Saturday as well.  This should be one of those fascinating chess matches with both Williams/A and Williams/B intimately familiar with each other's coaching styles, game plans, substitution patterns, after shaves and shoe sizes.  All of which means it'll probably come down to which kid dribbles the ball off whose foot with 2.3 seconds left in a one-point double overtimer.  Sweet.

 

More NCAA hooplets ... Well, we learned a new word this weekend courtesy of The Eye's studio analyst Clark Kellogg who described both Kansas and Oregon as two very "spurtable" teams.  And the reason they're both so spurtable is because both teams have ... and I quote ... great "spurtability".  Thanks for clearing that up, Clark.  And please, I'm begging you, please don't teach that new word to Dickie V.

 

Also, I dunno about you but as much as I love college hoops, those last few minutes of a tight game just seem to drag on longer and longer every year.  Just for kicks, I clocked one of the close ones and the final 34 point something seconds took like a full 20 minutes to finish.  Foul, time out, free throw, time out, inbounds, foul, time out, bounce bounce bounce, time out, set up the D, time out, inbounds, pass pass, swish, time out ... And all that burned off maybe 10 seconds tops.  And sold about 400 gazillion dollars worth of beer, cars and cell phones.  Maybe we should call it March Numbness instead.

 

NASCAR's most glamorous couple, Brooke and Jeff Gordon, admitted last week their seven-year marriage is in the pits.  Brooke is claiming "marital misconduct" which could be anything from drafting with someone else's crew chief .. nudge nudge wink wink ... all the way to not cleaning up in the garage after changing the oil on the riding mower.  Anyway, Brooke wants exclusive use of the couple's $9 million oceanfront home plus alimony, boats, cars, salaries for housekeepers, pool boys and a chef and her legal fees of course.  No word yet on who gets to keep the copy of Days Of Thunder on DVD though.

 

Rest in peace, Brittanie Cecil.  I gotta admit I'd never given much thought to someone getting killed at a hockey game before but now that it's happened, it sure seems like it was inevitable all along.  Do something, Gary Bettman.  A legal disclaimer on the back of a ticket stub isn't nearly enough.

 

See ya nexted week ...

 

Robert E Hunt Jr

 

Copyright ã 2002 by Robert E Hunt Jr.  All rights reserved.