Monday, 18-Mar-2002
Spurious
thoughts and idle musings from the sports week just past ...
Perfection. Sheer perfection ... An intramural hoops
team at the University of Northern Colorado is calling itself "The
Fighting Whites" in a playful yet earnest protest against pro and college
teams using nicknames like Braves, Indians and Redskins. The guys wear white jerseys with a picture
of a white corporate executive in a business suit with the motto "Every
thang's gonna be all white!" underneath.
And yes, they do have their own official Web site selling t-shirts,
jerseys, tank tops and sweatshirts with all proceeds going to the Fighting
Whites Scholarship Fund, Inc. God, I
love this country.
Ah,
spring training ... Cozy little parks, the sweet smell of freshly-mowed grass,
those old familiar and timeless sounds of bat and ball, players laughing and
enjoying themselves ... And pilfering Derek Jeter's glove and bat and selling
them to a memorabilia collector. Yes,
ma'am, that was indeed Yankee OF Ruben Rivera getting "caught stealing"
Jeter's stuff from his clubhouse locker and selling them for $2,500. Make that ex-Yankee Ruben Rivera who quickly
lost his job not to mention his reputation and dignity. Hard to believe, Harry.
And in
other ex-Yankee news, Darryl Strawberry got thumbed from his Florida rehab
clinic after a series of behavior problems and rules violations including ...
Drum roll, please ... Trading baseballs for cigarettes, autographing cards and
shirts, handing out cash gifts, shaving his head, abusing telephone privileges,
excessive profanity, kissing another resident, skipping medications and finally
last week's Last Straw ... Getting a little sumpin sumpin in a closet with a
female resident. Hope you like orange
jumpsuits, Darryl.
There are
no words to describe Tonya Harding boxing against Paula Jones. None.
Likewise,
there's really no sense whining about my pathetic NCAA bracket since yours is
probably the same federal disaster area that mine is ... Fact is those top heavy 1-16 mismatches are
the only sure thing with the 2-15 tilts almost but not quite as solid. After that, you might as well just flip a
coin or throw darts. Maybe next year
I'll let my two cats pick 'em. Hell,
they can't possibly do any worse.
Anyway, let's take a quick trip across the minefield ...
Down
South, the Dookies destroyed Winthrop but then got the hiccups before finally
sending the pesky Rudys home. UNC
Wilmington upheld the pride of the UNC school system by sending SoCal looking
for their surfboards but then the Seahawks bowed to Indiana while Pittsburgh
feasted on home cooking in wins over Central Connecticut and Cal. But the big shock in this region is Kent
State, the 10 seed who tossed a pair of stompjob grenades on both Okie State and
Bama. Next weekend in Lexington should
still be the Duke Invitational but the Golden Flashes are now The Unknown
Handful.
Over in
the West, top seed Cincy went see ya just like Conference USA does every
year. Okay, it was double OT and maybe
the UCLA Woodens were seeded too low but No. 1's are supposed to last at least
a coupla weekends, aren't they ???
Meanwhile, Mizzou is playing lights out hoops. Whew, I dunno know if the Quins can play any better than the routs
they laid on the stunned Canes and Poisonous Nuts. As expected, the other two survive-and-advancers are Zona and OK
and I got Cool Hand Lute's Wildcats getting outta San Jose alive but it ain't
gonna be easy.
Up in the
Midwest, big bad Kansas almost coughed against The Cross but recovered and then
cut down The Tree to move along to Madison.
Creighton rolled the Gators in 2OT but then spit the bit against the
Illinois Fighting Politically Incorrect Native American Tribal Name. On the other side, Tejas and the Oregon
Ducks also moved on and will meet next week.
It's hard not to see Roy's Jayhawks winning this region but long-time
Kansas watchers know all too well that if he's gonna gag like his beloved
mentor Dean Smith, this is the time and the place.
And
finally in the East, the Twerps barely broke a sweat in their own backyard but
now face a rebooted Kaintuck five.
Along with the Zona-Sooner game, this one might be the best region semi
studfest. Also along for the party up
Syracuse way are the No. 11 seed Southern Illinois Salukis, the lowest
surviving seed, who first sent Bobby Knight back to Lubbock and then outwoofed
the Georgia Dawgs. Next up is another
dogfight with the UConn Huskies who themselves survived a canine posedown with
the NC State Wolfies. I got the Turtles
here but they're always just a Gary Williams meltdown away from the soup
pot. Nobody ruins a $3,000 suit like
Gary Williams.
Nowhere
to run to, nowhere to hide ... Which might as well be the new marketing slogan
for Les Hornez following yet another strange twist in their seemingly
never-ending saga to hit the road Jack for a new home. This past Friday was the team's self-imposed
deadline to sell a self-imposed quota of new ticket orders down in
Nawlins. They did indeed meet their
luxury box number but fell 2,000 seats short of their own goal of 10,500 season
tix. Let's see now, you set your own
date to hit a number you chose yourself and yet you still came up short. Hello, McFly.
Make room
for another entry in the "Dumb And Dumber" Hall of Fame ... My local
Charlotte Observer sports page posted their daily predictions before each NCAA
game this past weekend. Yeah, I know
lotsa newspapers do that but how many claim in print that they're actually
inserting a few secret bogus picks to discourage gambling ??? I kid you not ... I mean, I'd love to know
what made the paper think people would actually bet using their picks to begin
with. And don't they realize that if
even just one pick is intentionally flawed, then they're all worthless and the
entire article is unreadable.
Especially since, if you really really wanna gamble, all you gotta do is
flip the page and the official Vegas lines are right there underneath the
hockey transactions and high school volleyball scores. Just incredible.
We
interrupt this broadcast to bring you this bulletin from CNN Breaking News ...
Wolf, I'm here in Chapel Hill on the North Carolina campus and you can just
feel a sense of uneasiness here today as the realization is slowly setting in
that civilization as we know it has indeed survived the opening rounds of the
NCAA tournament without the participation of the Tar Heels. State and local authorities alike are
breathing easier tonight as it appears the world will make it through this
much-anticipated crisis. Stay tuned to
CNN for further details. Now back to
you, Wolf.
Pardon
the rant here but I was starting to wonder why I still haven't heard from the
Panthers about next year's season tix.
Usually, the team sends out its invoices each February with full payment
due around now. Well, apparently their
bill is in the mail and with a nice little price increase along for the
ride. Yep, that's my beloved team. They set a new NFL record with 15 straight
losses in one season, fire the famous coach, hire the unknown new guy, strip
their bloated roster bare and now they want me to cough up even more coin for
the privilege. Sigh, maybe I should be
grateful. They coulda gone like 15-1 or
something and then really jacked me up.
What a concept.
Pavlov
was absolutely right ... Every single time The Eye plays that bouncy little
jingle, my head snaps up and I look straight down at the bottom of the screen
and wait there for the crawl with the latest updated scores. Every time.
And so maybe it's a good thing The Dance only last three weeks otherwise
I might start hoping I'll get a chewy treat each time I look up and drool.
See ya
nexted week ...
Robert E Hunt Jr
Copyright ã 2002 by Robert E Hunt Jr. All rights reserved.