Monday, 11-Mar-2002
Spurious
thoughts and idle musings from the sports week just past ...
Sir
Charles of Barkley got himself some ink last week ... Chuckwagon is SI's
current cover story and, to no one's surprise, he lets loose on a whole wide
world of topics ... Jordan, El Tigre, Vegas, golf, Calvin Murphy's wardrobe,
diets, Jesse Jackson, his TNT studio show and on and on. Great stuff. But still the best ongoing CB plot thread by far is his goal of
someday somehow making a run for governor of Alabama. And don't think it can't happen.
If Minnesota can elect the dude who played Captain Freedom in "The
Running Man", anything can happen.
Anything.
Like for
example, an Indiana high school varsity wrestling coach who got suspended
recently for biting the head off a live sparrow in front of his team. Yep, Aron D Bright got two weeks off from
his job as wrestling coach as well as geography and history teacher at Avon
High School for taking the term "eating crow" just a little too
far. Apparently, Mr Bright isn't. Cause if he really was a good history
teacher, he'd shoulda known that Ozzy Osbourne's legendary appetite for live
bats didn't do wonders for him either.
And so
let the insanity begin with a little trip down Bracketory Lane ...
In the
East, the Twerps got their long-awaited Big Kahuna seed. Deep, talented and feeling the love,
Maryland's dialed in for a three-week run and should get outta this
bracket. The Jellies ain't been
themselves lately, Marquette's ripe for a fatal case of Conference USA
Syndrome, Bobby Knight has Texas Tech poised for his traditional first-round
flameout and both Georgia and UConn are in that uneasy tweener zone between
damn good and great. One thing to put
some fear in the Turtle is this ... Five different coaches in this region wear
jewelry and not one of them is named Gary Williams. And beware NC State on 7th street. Guards rule March.
Out
Midwest way, Roy "Golly Gee, I Sure Am Glad I Stayed In Kansas"
Williams has Dorothy's favorite state sitting pretty but the Rock Chalkers have
rarely enjoyed the big dog's view.
Florida is always frightening as long as Eddie Munster is stomping the
sidelines while Mississippuh State oughta be sucking wind after bruising
through the tough SEC tourney.
Pepperdine is much better than advertised and Texas and Illinois are
pedigreed but inconsistent stud pups as well.
And don't dismiss Oregon.
They're gonna get their webbed feet paddling somehow.
Down
South, Carolina's favorite neighbor is sitting atop the pile. Man, it's tough to see beyond anything but a
Dookie romp through this group. With at
least three future Association first-rounders ... Williams, Boozer and Dunleavy
... and the only coach on the planet with a lifetime contract, the Krzyzewskis
should shh-shh-cruise all the way to Hotlanta.
Bama will bark a little, Charlotte's got some hops and a little hope,
Kent State is the MAC daddy and could spring a jolt or two while Pitt had a
superb Big East year which typically means Sixteen and done. Go Winthrop. Keep it under 30. And go
Quakers. Just because.
And
finally out West ... Thuggie Bear's Cincinnati "Warning: Contains
Potentially Fatal C-USA Material" Bearcats snagged The Uno. Whew, this is the Mother Of Kong region ...
The Poisonous Nuts won the Big 10/11, Zona won the Pac-10, Oklahoma OK won the
Big 12. Add Hawaii, Xavier, Boston
"What, This Ain't Hockey?" University, Davidson, UC Santa Barbara and
Illinois-Shy and they all won their conference titles too. And then there's West Coast champ Gonzaga
with one serious Six Seed bonejob to pick with the Commitatus. Maybe this is the year the Zags' dance
carriage turns back into a pumpkin but I sure wouldn't wanna play 'em. Not now.
Brian
Bersticker, Adam Boone, Jason Capel, Joe Everett, Jonathan Homes, Will Johnson,
Kris Lang, Jackie Manuel, Phillip McLamb, Orlando Melendez, Brian Morrison,
Damien Price, Melvin Scott and Jawad Willams ... Ladies and gentlemen, may I
present to you your 2001-02 University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill Tar
Heels men's varsity basketball team.
Eight wins, 20 losses and one spring break coming right up. Hello, boys, it's good to see you. It's been a long wait but I'm glad you
finally made it. Thanks, Matt. Oh, and I almost forgot ... Hampton and
Davidson said to send their love and be sure you use lotsa sunscreen.
Yes, I
know my beloved Virginia Cavaliers flamed out.
Sigh, it's an ancient story and it's getting older each and every
year. What are you gonna do ??? Overrated in the Top Ten just about all
season long, my Hoos all but packed it in once the ACC's insane meat grinder of
a conference schedule caught up to them and snuffed 'em out. No excuses.
No croc tears. All you can do is
put another crushjob in the rear view mirror and move on to better times next
year. Hey, it could happen. Just ask the Patriots.
I guess
you just can't have too much Dickie V, can you ??? You'd think somehow he'd be confined to the ABC/ESPN family but
think again. Sunday afternoon, on one
of those rare occasions when She Who Must Be Obeyed commandeered the clicker,
there we were watching Home and Garden TV ... And yep, there he was hawking his
digs for some kinda house showcase special and informing HGTV Nation that The
Dick's pad is indeed Awesome with a capital A, bab-ee. And here's a Click with a capital C,
Dick-ee.
More on
my Cavs ... With the ACC tourney here in Charlotte this past weekend, I
attended the Virginia booster club's welcoming reception for the team at a
downtown hotel last Wednesday night.
Had a great time too especially yakking about The Old Days with ex-Hoo
coach Terry Holland. But I have to
admit ... Honest to George Burns, it took every ounce of self-control to keep
from slipping into Chris Farley Show mode ... Um, do you remember the time, um,
you got Ralph Sampson to commit ??? Man,
that was awesome. Rest easy, I held off
but that's harder to do than you think.
And
finally ... For the record, the Tar Heels have now finished in 7th place or
better in the ACC for a record 38 straight years. Way to keep the streak alive, boys. And yes, I have been waiting all season long to type that.
See ya
nexted week ...
Robert E Hunt Jr
Copyright ã 2002 by Robert E Hunt Jr. All rights reserved.