Monday, 21-Jan-2002
Spurious
thoughts and idle musings from the sports week just past ...
Great
overtime game Saturday night as the New England Patriotic Gentlemen finally got
The Mother Of All Makeup Calls and snowjobbed the Raiders to avenge that epic
1976 offs loss in Oakland when the zeebs somehow sugarboned 'em on a phantom
penalty flag. Hopefully now Patriot
Nation can erase the crosshairs from Ben Dreith's old gray picture and instead
raise a frosty pint in toast to Walt Coleman who actually flipped his own
call. Man, you know Destiny's getting
herself all dolled up for her date with you when that happens. Helluva kick though, Adam Vinatieri.
Sour
grapes perhaps but I have absolutely zero problems with Dem Bugs shuffling off
down Looziana way. Truth is I'm more
than just a little proud of my city of Charlotte for having the nostrils to
smell the stank oozing off Hornets co-owners Lemonhead Shinn and Claymation Ray
Wooldridge. I swear these two
smarmlords are a textbook case of how to napalm every bridge possible in their
noxious wanderlust for a new luxury playpen.
Sure, I'll miss The Association but if this city never has to see
Shinndridge on its front page again it'll be well worth the loss. They're all yours, Nawlins. Keep lotsa barf bags handy cause your gumbo's
gonna be making round trips.
Reason
No. 3,569,362 to love World Cup soccer ... I mean, where else are you gonna
find an I kid you not dog meat controversy ???
Seems the international FIFA suits don't want Fifi on the menu when the
ubertournament comes to Korea later this summer. That's right, the soccer boys actually believe they have enough
oomph to force an entire nation to change its traditional cuisine. I dunno but sounds to me like they're more
bark than bite. Sorry, couldn't resist.
More NFL
Divisional Offs highlights ... Wow, who disguised Vinny Testaverde to look like
Brett Favre ??? Damn, Favre threw more
sixes to blue Ram jerseys than Kurt Warner did. Poor Vince must be rolling in his grave. Meanwhile, the rugged Stillers shoved heaping
towelfuls of freshly steamed blackbird down the throats of Brian "Elvis
Will Now Leave The Building" Billick's Nevermores. And you gotta believe Trent Dilfer is now
smiling his glutes off as he polishes his Supe 35 ring one more time.
And of
course let us not forget the McNabbs closing down Soldier Field with a most
tasty 33-19 pounding of the frisky but offensively-challenged Da Bears. And as long as we're on this revenge kick,
the Iggles win Saturday afternoon made amends for that bizarro Fog Bowl back in
1988 when Lake Michigan decided the game was over at halftime. Next up for the Birds is a trip to St Louis
and a Week 1 rematch with the truly scary Rams. In Donovan we trust.
I'll have
a large vanilla cone with chocolate jimmies, Mr Cuban. And don't mess up the curly top, thanks.
More on
the Iggles game ... I decouched from my home sofa and went to meet my brother
at a local sports bar to watch the big game.
Dude got there first and snagged some choice viewing seats where we
could watch several big screen tubes at once.
And for One Shining Moment about midway through the second quarter, we
were scoping not only Iggs-Bears but the sweet spanking that UConn was laying
on The Hapless Heels. And right next to
that tube was Anna Kournikova playing doubles alongside the Swiss Miss. Can I get a witness.
The Los
Angeles Dodgers are not going to dump Gary Sheffield and get little in
return. Gary Sheffield is much too
valuable to the Los Angeles Dodgers organization to just let him go for peanuts
... Tick, tick, tick, tick ... The Los Angeles Dodgers have traded Gary
Sheffield to the Atlanta Braves for Brian Jordan, Odalis Perez and a jebeep to
be named later. Enjoy the peanuts.
Been
waiting a while for something fun to happen in the NHL but Sergei Federov's
daddy finally stepped up last week.
Viktor Federov chimed in all the way from Moscow that his boy should
leave the Central Red Army Wings this summer because ... get ready ... he feels
coach Scotty Bowman has "disrespected" poor Sergei by asking the
former MVP to play some defense every now and then. Freedom of speech is a wonderful thang, ain't it ???
Nice to
know that new Dead$kins bosshog Steve Spurrier believes that beating the Pokes
is his first order of bizness. Somehow
I have a funny feeling that's not all Danny Boy wants.
Rule No.
1 ... Never ever pull a Tuna casserole out of the oven before it's done. Cause a half-baked Tuna is now pure agony
for the soon-to-be sorry assed Bay Of Tampa boys. Geez, how dumb are the Glazers ??? Not content to let Bill Parcells jilt the Bucs ten years ago, the
owners planked Tony Dungy without a signed Tuna contract in hand and now they
might hafta cough up draft picks if they want Chucky to leave Oakland. At this rate, they'll bring back those limp-wristed
orange unis any day now.
Speaking
of Pokes, here's hoping ex-Boy pigslinger Troy Aikman forgets all about a
comeback with the Fish cause I'll tell you what, ol' Troy is a hoot and a holler
up in the FOX booth. I'll tell you
what, when he informed us that injured Bear QB Jim Miller's wife was in the
locker room with him and he said ... and I quote ... "I'll tell you what,
you always feel better when the wife goes down there." Well, I'll tell you what, that and the Iggs
win just made my day.
See ya
nexted week ...
Robert E Hunt Jr
Copyright ã 2002 by Robert E Hunt Jr. All rights reserved.