Monday, 14-Jan-2002
Spurious
thoughts and idle musings from the sports week just past ...
Another
week another $500,000 fine for billionaire Mavs owner Mark Cuban who took a
delicious swipe at NBA head zebra Ed Rush saying he "might have been a
great ref but I wouldn't hire him to manage a Dairy Queen". Unquote.
Naturally, DQ loved the free pub and so invited The Crazy One to grab a
scoop and see for himself what running one of their restaurants is all
about. And of course, Cuban jumped at
the chance saying he can't wait to make his very own Blizzard with his fave
Butterfingers and Reese's Pieces. I
love this game.
Looks
like Her Airness has had enough cause Juanita Jordan filed court papers last
Tuesday to become Mrs Be Like Not ... And here's her lawyer's description of
soon-to-be ex-hubby MJ ... "The Respondent is a well and able-bodied man
who is capable of making suitable provisions for the support and maintenance of
the Petitioner and the support and education of the parties' children in a
style commensurate with that enjoyed by the parties during the
marriage." You got that right,
girl.
I doubt
I'll watch it but this new game show called "The Chair" premiering
Tuesday on the Alphabet looks interesting if only cause tennis great John
McEnroe is the host. From what I can
tell, contestants have to keep their heart rates steady while they sit hooked
up in this contraption as Johnny Mac grills them. And that's just perfect casting since anybody sitting in a chair
anywhere near McEnroe is bound to stress out big time.
Man, I
haven't had a high mojo day like Saturday in a long time ... First, my beloved
Wahoos snuffed The Empire Formerly Known As Evil with a 71-67 victory in the
heretofore formidable Dean Dome no less.
And then just a coupla hours later, the McNabbs pretty much ended the
Tony Dungy Era in Tamp City with a sweet 31-9 deja vu plankjob over the
listless Bucs. Wow, that's more big
wins in one day than I got to enjoy in four months of Panther hell. Looking good, Louis. Feeling good, Billy Ray.
Not too
many surprises on NFL Wildcard Weekend as the Raves smoked the Flippers behind
Hound Dog Grbac who engineered two long scoring drives while the Pack
outcheesed the whiny Niners to remain unbeaten all-time in the offs at Lambeau. Next up for these two survivors are the
Steelers and Rams, the odds-on faves to swap etouffe recipes in Nawlins in
three weeks. And in addition to the
Iggles win on Saturday, the Raiders sent the J-E-T-S home on yet another
cross-country flight. This time for
g-o-o-d.
Will
whoever switched out Shaq's decaf please return it. Sincerely, Brad Miller.
You know,
if I was a Patriot fan, I'd be looking to dump some tea in the NFL's harbor
cause next weekend's divisional posedown against Oakland is all set to suck up
to the primetime tube gods at 8:00 pm on Saturday night. Yep, you got it ... After four tough months
of superb pig capped by a division title and the AFC's silver two seed, Patriot
Nation now gets to freeze its baked beans off for three hours in the dead of
night in the dead of a New England winter on those dead cold aluminum Foxboro
bench seats. Ouch.
Things
are moving real fast in the annual NFL coaching frenzy ... As expected, George
Seifert was put back in cold storage and Jim Mora has cried his final Horseshoe
tears. And as mentioned, Tony "The
Classy" Dungy needs a blindfold and cigarette in Tampa Bay to make way for
yet another Tuna revival. But leave it
to Little Man to steal the show as Dead$kins owner Daniel Snyder gave Marty
Schottenheimer the $7.5 million he still owed him to go away so he could give
Steve Spurrier $25,000,000 over the next five years.
Still
more proof that Bud Light is running MLB into the ground ... Word leaked out
last week that Selig once improperly borrowed coin from Twinks owner Carl Pohlad
who now wants Bud to help him kill his team instead of selling it. The same Bud
who's taking heat in Boston for the pending Red Sox sale that looks so
obviously rigged for his pals. The same Bud who's got Congress yapping at his
heels. The same Bud who thinks his office can run the ownerless Spos if they
don't get whacked. The same Bud who,
with one month before spring training starts, hasn't even bothered to discuss a
new labor deal with the players. You
know, I wouldn't trust this guy with running a Dairy Queen.
Ozzie
Smith got his Hall call. Although not
much with the stick unless Tom Niedenfuer was on the mound, The Wizard was
without peer at shortstop. So
impressive was Smith's glovework that he even got a Cooperstown vote from a
dead guy. That's right ... Bob Stevens,
long-time baseball writer for the San Francisco Chronicle, passed away last
month but not before he sent in his completed and perfectly valid ballot. So I guess Ozzie really did have great range.
More on
Snyderman's Greater Potomac Region Native Americans ... Remember that after
Danny Boy canned Norv Turner last year, he all but begged Schottenheimer to
take control of his team to prove he'd learned his lesson about interfering
with the football stuff. That is,
except for insisting that Jeff George start at quarterback. And we all know how well that went
over. So now you can guess why Little
Man says Marty is toast despite finishing 8-8 after a horrible 0-5 start
... Yep, too much control and bad
personnel decisions. Good luck, Steve,
he's a live one.
See ya
nexted week ...
Robert E Hunt Jr
Copyright ã 2002 by Robert E Hunt Jr. All rights reserved.