Monday, 29-Oct-2001
Spurious
thoughts and idle musings from the sports week just past ...
Wow, I
didn't think there was any way possible for Les Hornets to dump Derrick
"Fudge Ripple" Coleman but apparently Larry "Lord, I Was Born A
Ramblin' Man" Brown apparently believes the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man is
the latest answer to whatever's puzzling his gimpy Sixers and so DC's second
Philly tour of duty is now underway.
Meanwhile, here in Bugville, head coach Paul "Hallelujah" Silas,
whose disgust with Coleman was nobody's secret, must have a smile wider than
the Cheshire Cat's. Hard to believe,
Harry.
I'm
officially starting to worry that the Dennis Miller experiment isn't gonna work
out. Look, I love the dude's stand-up
act and pound for pound Miller was the best SNL Weekend Update anchor of all
time but it sure looks like The Alphabet's got him on a short leash on Monday
nights. I can take him calling Al
Michaels "Albeeno" and I certainly don't mind when he defers to Dan
Fouts on pure football matters but he's losing me when he does things like suck
up to Regis Philbin on prime time. Is
it time to call 1-800-NICE-TRY ???
Helluva
week at the Agassi household ... First, Steffi and Andre met at the net last
Monday and then Jaden Gil Agassi, all 5 pounds, 7 ounces and 19 1/2 inches of
him, arrived at Centre Court a few weeks early on Saturday in a Vegas
hospital. Anybody think it's too early
to project the 2020 men's Wimbledon singles champeen ???
Clearly,
Buck Showalter knows baseball. I have
no doubt he's one of those classic total eat, sleep and drink it guys who'd
rather be hitting fungos to a struggling rookie outfielder than be at home with
the missus. But still, you gotta figure
Buck's agonizing over this World Series matchup. I mean, it musta been pure hell watching Don Joseph Torre win
four Yankee rings right after Big Stein let him go back in 1995 but here now
are the Snakes on the big screen just one year after Buck blew that gig
too. Brutal, Juice, brutal.
NFL Week
7 piglets ... Da Bears pulled off a massive comeback to beat the Niners as did
the Saints Be Praised over the Rams whose first loss now means those old
undefeated 1972 Fish can pop their old bubbly ... yawn ... one more time. Thanks, fellas, see ya next year. Meanwhile, the Jints are playing small,
Corey Dillon is all that and a bowl of chili, Sir Douglas of Flutie just keeps
right on winning and the Brady Bunch came back to earth against the Doncs. And I'm sure as hell glad I ain't in Jerome
Bettis's way.
Sign Of
The Times ... At a men's indoor tennis tournament in Switzerland last week,
play was stopped and the venue was evacuated when security guards found an
envelope filled with white powder. Lab
tests later showed it was not anthrax.
Nope, it was just plain old cocaine.
Which just might be the strangest happy ending to one of these scares
that we're likely to see. Amazing.
Towel,
please. Yep, I am oh-fish-uh-lee
tossing in the terry on my 2001 Panthers.
You know, boys and girls, football really is a simple game. You run, you throw, you block, you tackle,
you kick and that's about it. But
really bad teams play really bad pig and this Carolina crew is just plain
motley. So now's the time to ponder who
shall be the lucky first choice come next April's NFL draft. But, of course, the new Houston team has the
precious pick so even that slim hope is whole wheat toast. Somebody please shoot me.
And
speaking of the World Series, the Snakes gotta be seriously jiggy over their
two-zip lead over the stunned Damn Yankees.
I can't remember the last time I saw the Pinstripers play this poorly in
October although, in their defense, Schilling and Unit have been godawful
nasty. But their leather is cranky,
their bats got big holes in 'em and even Torre's Midas touch seems out to
lunch. Then again, just ask Oakland how
much they enjoyed their 2-0 lead three weeks ago.
I
sincerely hope that if the FBI and the CIA do somehow get a green light to
begin "interrogating" suspected terrorists, so to speak, that both
agencies will seriously consider using Tim McCarver's broadcast tapes. I mean, how many times can one guy explain
over and over again the excruciating details of the hit-and-run or the rotation
play or hitting the cutoff man or working the count or the balk rules or
lefty-righty matchups or the difference between pitchers on three days rest and
four or ... Okay, okay, I'll talk, I'll talk.
Make it stop.
And while
we're discussing Curt Schilling, let's give him the award for Best Quote of the
Week ... Trying to downplay the Yankees' overwhelming edge in Series history
and tradition, Schill spoke thusly ... "When you use words like Mystique
and Aura, those are dancers in a nightclub.
Those are not things we concern ourselves with on the field." Well said, Curt. And so are Destiny and Glory and ... Phone call for you,
Curt. It's your wife. No, I don't know what she wants but she
sounds kinda pissed, man.
Got some
loose change and wanna sit next to Spike Lee at MSG to watch The Association's
Tuesday night opener between the Knicks and Be Like's Da Wiz ??? Sorry but that hot seat's taken. Seems old Mars Blackmon auctioned off the
ticket on eBay last week and an anonymous bidder ponied up a tad over $100,000
and then, bless his or her nameless heart, donated the dear ducat to a lost New
York firefighter's kid. And if that
doesn't get you a little verklempt, I don't know what will. Show him a good time, Spike.
See ya
nexted week ...
Robert E Hunt Jr
Copyright ã 2001 by Robert E Hunt Jr. All rights reserved.