Monday, 16-Jul-2001
Spurious
thoughts and idle musings from the sports week just past ...
Managing
your precious Dodgers to four NL pennants and two World Series rings ...
Priceless. Hanging out every night in
your office with Frank Sinatra, Don Rickles and other assorted SoCal royalty
... Priceless. Coaching a patchwork US
Olympic baseball team to a surprise 2000 Sydney gold medal win ...
Priceless. Going ass up and over trying
to avoid Vlad Guerrero's flying bat while coaching third base during the
All-Star Game ... Absolutely hilarious.
Look, we
all know the rules of golf are as sacred as Scripture. But will somebody please tell the puttheads
at the Greater Tampa Junior Golf Association to let little Matthew Ross play. Ross, a 9-year-old Tampa boy with severe
autism, is apparently some kinda Rain Man golf savant who's won several junior
titles and routinely breaks 100. But
since young Matthew, who's clearly an "excellent driver", can't keep
track of his own scorecard, the GTJGA won't let him play anymore. Mark that down as a bogey.
And why
oh why oh why couldn't FOX have had one of those new-fangled, Matrix-style,
stop-and-circle camera gizmos on hand to record Tommy Lasorda's new electric
boogaloo ??? Man, that woulda been so
sweet seeing replays from that special camera.
Stumble, freeze, circle. Splat,
freeze, circle. Kick, freeze,
circle. Whomp, freeze, circle. Up and done, fade ... Cut to dugout
hysterics. Show it again. Show it again. Show it again. Cut to
commercial. Show it again. Wipe tears.
Resume game.
Did
NASCAR look the other way when Little E dropped the hammer down to win the
Brown Sugar Water 400 ??? And did NL
hurler Chan Ho "Outta The" Park serve up Sir Cal of Ripken's All-Star
sweet potater ??? No way to really know
but that sure didn't stop Pundit Nation from going ballistic wondering if and
how. Then again, NASCAR had to be
thrilled dealing with something anything else besides Three and of course MLB
never seems to mind tapping the Ripken feelgood keg whenever it wants a
buzz. Things that make you go
"hmmm" ???
More
All-Star Gamelets ... Loved Lemonhead Piazza's commentary during the otherwise
snoozable Home Run Derby. And sending
Jason "Mekka Lekka Hi Mekka Hiney Ho" Giambi in to pinch run for John
Olerud made as much sense as that insane Pamplona bull running thing. Also, somebody tell Jorge Posada that last
year's game was the one with the kids allowed on the field. And how come FOX didn't have Tokyo Cam
turned on when Ichiro singled to lead off the AL first ???
And now
for yet another item on the long and colorful list of "Things We Just
Don't Get About Europeans" ... Back home in his native Croatia, in front
of what one can only presume were his appreciative if not delirious fans, new
Wimbledon men's champeen Goran Ivanisevic celebrated his upset win over Patrick
Rafter by peeling it all off only stopping thankfully just short of the full
monty. Strip tennis, anyone ???
Dear
Jaromir ... Sorry the Rangers deal fell through. Best of luck with your new team in Washington. I hear they really like hockey in DC when
they're not obsessing over the Redskins or that Jordan guy. Anyway, I hope we'll see you in the
playoffs. Best regards, Mario.
So where
are we halfway through the baseball season ???
Yeah okay, besides halfway, smartass.
Anyway, leading off are the amazing M's who are so far ahead they're
like 10 games up on next year's race already.
But no less astounding are the dogass Twinks, Cubbies and my Phillies
all still sitting pretty in first place.
Meanwhile, Yanks and Braves look mortal, Mets are flatlined and David
Wells looks done with Cardinal McGwire perhaps not too far behind. And finally, let's give it up for Ichiro and
Kazu Sasaki who last week announced they're all done talking to the Japanese
media. Welcome to the bigs, boys.
To almost
no one's surprise except perhaps runner-up Toronto, the IOC did indeed toss the
2008 Summer Pics bone to Beijing, capital city of the People's Republic of
Smog, Tanks and Sweatshops. Whatever,
I'm sure it'll all be a carefully polished three weeks of tape-delayed Peacock
ultrafluff. Oh well, one thing's
finally clear ... At least now we know that a billion Chinese actually do care
about something.
The NCAA
got some ink last week ... First, came word that the Big Dance is getting a
placement makeover. Something about
sub-regional "pods" keeping the upper seeds in each region closer to
home for that first insane weekend. So
yes, expect to see Duke and Carolina sharing Greensboro or Zona and UCLA
together in SoCal even though their regions may differ. Not to be outdone, the Bogus Championship
Series got its own software tweak as cupcake blowouts are now out while top 15
deathgrips are in. Which means Steve
Spurrier better get some new numbers in his Rolodex.
Speaking
of the Olympics, a study was released last week that said on average each
Sydney athlete was taking about seven legal medications a day. Legal meds, mind you. One jock listed 29 different vitamins,
anti-inflammatories, food supps and assorted other pills and potions on his
survey form. And in other news, Rasheed
Wallace has anger management issues, Roberto "Hands Of Foam" Duran
needs to hear someone tell him "No Mas" for a change and that Tiger
guy makes a decent living.
Here's a
staggering number for you ... Over the years, my hometown Charlotte Hornets
have seen a grand total of 23 players become unrestricted free agents and thus
able to negotiate with any team in The Association. And they've signed exactly *zero* of them. Zee. Row.
A whopping donut hole none.
Latest to exit stage left is young studlet Eddie "E-Rob"
Robinson who's actually gonna take last-place HorriBull coin in lieu of playoff
Bug Bounty. Gee, I dunno but I suspect
there's a trend here.
Speaking
of El Tigre, a nice little storm of controversy is abrew down in New Zealand as
ticket prices for next January's New Zealand Open were recently set at $205.00
for a weeklong pass. Big deal, you say. Well, seems as though last year that same
pass went for $20.50. So how come the
decimal point took one hop over ???
Because Cash Spice wants and will get a pouch full of $2,000,000 in
appearance fees. Welcome to the law of
supply and demand, Kiwis.
See ya
nexted week ...
Robert E Hunt Jr
Copyright ã 2001 by Robert E Hunt Jr. All rights reserved.